2026-9-3 — Akasha

Benny:How did the committee say that?

Benny:Greetings.

Gamemaster:Ew.

Gamemaster:Addie Doodly.

Benny:If that answers your question.

Gamemaster:It doesn't really. Is that bad?

Benny:I guess.

Gamemaster:You don't know? You don't know how you're doing?

Benny:It's bad for me.

Gamemaster:That's unfortunate. What's wrong?

Benny:No, I'm joking.

Gamemaster:Oh, you're just lying to me to make me feel concerned about my friend.

Gamemaster:I get it.

Benny:It is bad for me.

Gamemaster:I do that all the time. I understand.

Benny:I don't know.

Gamemaster:oh

Benny:I'm also just saying words.

Gamemaster:I mean that is talking

Benny:For the most part.

Gamemaster:you have figured that out

Gamemaster:so

Benny:Which class?

Gamemaster:I asked you guys if it would be okay

Gamemaster:if I played champion and then I forgot

Gamemaster:that I asked you if I could play champion

Gamemaster:and chose a completely different

Gamemaster:class and then I looked in the discord

Gamemaster:and I saw that I asked

Gamemaster:that but I didn't go back and update my character

Gamemaster:so I'm not a champion

Gamemaster:I a commander which is a different C class that is a different class No I intended to play champion and then I forgot

Benny:Oh well you never intended to play champion oh okay

Argyle:you What did you play

Benny:understandable

Gamemaster:And I was like, what class did I want to play again?

Gamemaster:That sounds right.

Gamemaster:And then I just went with that.

Gamemaster:Hello.

Argyle:What character?

Gamemaster:So I asked if I could play a champion, and you guys said yes, and I said great, and then I forgot that I did that.

Argyle:Mm-hmm.

Gamemaster:And then I built a commander.

Benny:It's his internet, not ours.

Gamemaster:So, oops.

Argyle:that's fun we haven't had a commander before

Gamemaster:Oh, no.

Argyle:all right i'll restart

Gamemaster:Yeah, it's his internet.

Gamemaster:You seem fine, Mike.

Gamemaster:Sorry, Jorge.

Gamemaster:Oh.

Gamemaster:I was waiting to see if you would move a little bit, and then you did, and it looked fine.

Benny:I saw your face, and then I looked, and I realized Jorge wasn't talking, even though he was like...

Gamemaster:So I'm like, okay, the issue is not with me.

Gamemaster:I reinstalled Discord, and I'm hoping...

Gamemaster:Since I reinstalled Discord, I haven't had the issue where I connect,

Gamemaster:and then I can't say anything for the first minute, and then I actually connect.

Gamemaster:I'm hoping that that fixes it.

Gamemaster:It hasn't happened yet, but it's only been like two calls since then.

Gamemaster:Also, I hit silver three in Marvel Rivals, and then I immediately stopped playing.

Benny:Howdy.

Johnny:Hello.

Johnny:That didn't really matter for this one.

Gamemaster:Because I didn't want to lose the next match and then drop right back down into bronze.

Gamemaster:Because I knew that was going to happen.

Gamemaster:So.

Gamemaster:Ew.

Gamemaster:How you doing?

Benny:

Gamemaster:Were we supposed to send our character sheets to you?

Benny:Hello.

Gamemaster:Okay, I didn't know how you were planning on running this.

Benny:you you How complicated

Johnny:I just have some shmepies

Gamemaster:Because you didn ask me for foundry access So I assumed you weren using it That fair Some shmepies

Gamemaster:Ooh, intel.

Gamemaster:There may be multiple battles.

Johnny:Yeah, I have eight shmepies.

Gamemaster:Good to know.

Johnny:There's eight different.

Johnny:You guys better rush through these.

Gamemaster:I figured, I didn't know what you would be going for, so I picked up mountaineering training.

Gamemaster:I'm hoping this is a very mountain-climbing-heavy session.

Benny:Wait, what?

Gamemaster:Just in case.

Johnny:Shmeppi's four through six are entirely mountain climbing.

Gamemaster:Sick. I had a choice between

Gamemaster:mountaineering training or aquatics training, and I'm like we're way more likely to be in a mountain than swimming.

Gamemaster:I really hope that was a reasonable

Gamemaster:selection to make, although from that reaction I have a feeling like I chose wrong, which is great.

Benny:What?

Benny:Wait, what the fuck?

Johnny:I guess we'll find out.

Benny:What is...

Benny:What does mountaineering training get you?

Benny:hush no

Gamemaster:So, uh, mountaineering training, uh, lets me grant everybody in the party a 20-foot

Johnny:I

Johnny:I, Jorge is very dark right now.

Gamemaster:climb speed, but there was also a version of it where I could give everybody a 20-foot

Benny:josh no my character already has a climb speed of of i don't know

Gamemaster:swim speed, and I...

Gamemaster:This is what we get for not coordinating our classes, okay?

Benny:let me check what my cleanse

Gamemaster:It happens sometimes.

Benny:wait i don't know if i have a climb speed where would this even be listed here

Johnny:so I looked over at his screen and was like, oh, Jorge is not on his screen,

Gamemaster:Yeah, well, now you're not super laggy, so yes.

Argyle:Jordan

Johnny:and then looked back, and then looked away and looked back,

Johnny:and I was like, oh, my God.

Argyle:he's cosplaying can you hear me better

Argyle:yeah

Johnny:Yeah.

Argyle:um

Gamemaster:Well, it...

Benny:well i don't i don't know what it is

Argyle:what's the wording on the climb suit

Gamemaster:Even if you don't have a climb speed, I can give you one.

Argyle:what's the wording on the climb suit

Argyle:who do you give it to

Argyle:so every round I can create for one action three thralls and if i use another action every other

Benny:For mine might be faster.

Gamemaster:Your instructions make it easier for you and your allies to Scale dangerous surfaces.

Johnny:you What is the number

Gamemaster:Signal all squadmates until the end of your next turn you and each ally gain a climb speed of 20 feet

Argyle:action after that's only two i can also merge them to a amalgamation of flesh uh sorry conglomerate

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:oh that's way better than what you said the first time

Argyle:of limbs.

Argyle:And then that's way better.

Benny:I don't

Gamemaster:uh so i can only include five characters besides me in my squad so three of your thralls

Argyle:So they will get client speed.

Gamemaster:assuming mike doesn't also have any minions

Argyle:Oh.

Gamemaster:don't don't do that if you do then you and Jorge are gonna have to fight minion wise

Benny:I don't

Benny:do

Argyle:only if your climb speed is equal to your land speed

Gamemaster:over space in my squad okay

Benny:it's such an insane sentence

Gamemaster:neither of those

Benny:do

Benny:so do speed bonuses

Benny:add to my climb speed

Benny:as well as my land speed

Gamemaster:I

Argyle:some features

Gamemaster:your climb speed is not at all

Gamemaster:equal to your land speed unless you have

Gamemaster:a feat that does that

Argyle:yes some features give you that

Gamemaster:you need a specific feat that does that normally

Benny:I have a climb speed.

Gamemaster:your climb speed doesn't exist

Gamemaster:um and you

Gamemaster:can move five feet around with an athletics check.

Gamemaster:If you have a climb speed that instead of five feet around, you get to move that distance.

Benny:But if I get...

Benny:Like, if I have fleet that adds five foot...

Benny:It just said it adds five foot to my speed.

Gamemaster:It doesn't mean your climb speed.

Gamemaster:It means your base movement speed, which for almost everybody is land speed, but for some

Gamemaster:things is fly speed.

Gamemaster:I mean, I'll double check, but I'm like 98% certain that fleet does not increase your climbing speed.

Benny:well if to be does fleet

Gamemaster:Yeah, no, fleet

Argyle:Well, so the only reason...

Argyle:There's some amount of, at least with flying,

Argyle:let's say, you get flying equal to your climb speed.

Gamemaster:The first sentence of fleet

Gamemaster:Is you move more quickly on foot

Argyle:Yeah, there are...

Benny:i use my feet for climbing

Argyle:There are some feats that will give you, like,

Argyle:climb speed equal to your movement speed.

Gamemaster:Yeah

Gamemaster:Yeah, but

Argyle:But, like...

Gamemaster:Like, fleet specifically

Gamemaster:increases your walking speed.

Benny:So, I just have a climb speed of 20 feet.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:No other speeds.

Argyle:Okay, no deal.

Gamemaster:Okay, well then I can't help you.

Gamemaster:And it sounds like my mountaineering training

Gamemaster:will be useless.

Argyle:Leah, come on.

Benny:Well, Jorge's minions can use it, because there's lots of mountains.

Argyle:I am.

Gamemaster:Jorge's minions can use it.

Gamemaster:If we need to climb something,

Gamemaster:this is all predicated on there being something

Gamemaster:we need to climb at some point during the one shot.

Gamemaster:ooh

Benny:Oh, perfect.

Johnny:You're in a rock climbing gym.

Gamemaster:that would

Gamemaster:apply

Gamemaster:I mean it sounds like

Gamemaster:this is closer

Gamemaster:to the modern day

Gamemaster:I assume this is on

Gamemaster:earth with a U

Gamemaster:right

Gamemaster:okay

Johnny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:so it's closer

Gamemaster:to the modern day

Gamemaster:than the previous one shots

Gamemaster:which by the way

Gamemaster:we never got the resolution

Gamemaster:for the one

Gamemaster:where we all got

Gamemaster:sucked into the movie

Gamemaster:is this a different

Johnny:Oh, yeah.

Johnny:I forgot about that one.

Johnny:We got really close.

Gamemaster:get sucked into the movie

Gamemaster:one shot

Gamemaster:Okay.

Benny:Also...

Johnny:This is a different get sucked into the movie one shot.

Gamemaster:It happens.

Johnny:This one was...

Benny:

Benny:Craig has a different profile picture?

Johnny:I thought that...

Johnny:This one was...

Johnny:I had an idea that I thought would be really funny,

Johnny:and we're just kind of seeing where it goes.

Gamemaster:Hmm.

Argyle:you got a divorce

Gamemaster:Yeah, this is Craig V3.

Gamemaster:He updated his profile picture.

Benny:Ah Ah you ah

Johnny:Oh It looks very

Gamemaster:I tried I got an email that said hey it V3 now and then I tried to figure out what V3 meant and as best I can tell it just means they updated their branding

Benny:nice

Gamemaster:Like, I couldn't find any new features that they added with the move from V2 to V3. It's just... he looks different now.

Gamemaster:I have to imagine they did something

Benny:slightly more furryish

Argyle:on a side note

Gamemaster:but

Gamemaster:okay

Argyle:I came home late from work today

Argyle:like I got home like

Argyle:10 minutes ago

Argyle:and Leo

Argyle:when sitting with Bailey just kept

Argyle:looking at the front door and since

Argyle:I've gotten back he's like

Argyle:extra clingy like he's under

Argyle:my desk and everything and he definitely thought

Argyle:I died and it's like

Argyle:dude I just came home a couple hours later

Gamemaster:See

Argyle:but he definitely thought I was dead

Argyle:and

Johnny:appointed time.

Argyle:and Misha was sitting on my chair,

Gamemaster:I worked from home today

Argyle:which he normally doesn't,

Argyle:and everyone,

Argyle:all the pets were like,

Argyle:he's dead,

Argyle:he's dead.

Argyle:you should care

Gamemaster:Unlike I normally do

Gamemaster:And my cats couldn't give two shits

Gamemaster:They did not interact with me the whole day

Gamemaster:Didn't matter to them that I was around

Gamemaster:So

Gamemaster:Oh, you want to trade?

Gamemaster:I just want a pet that likes me.

Benny:A guy at my work resigned today.

Argyle:about that

Gamemaster:Oh, resigned?

Benny:Well, I guess he resigned last week or the beginning of this week.

Argyle:Oh.

Benny:Yeah, it's like he gave notice.

Benny:And then I guess he's finally disclosed his offer in the next place that he's going to.

Gamemaster:Oh.

Benny:Yeah, he disclosed the next place he's going to.

Benny:Very interesting.

Gamemaster:Where?

Gamemaster:Okay sure Thank you

Benny:Millennium.

Benny:yeah I was also something that a recruiter reached out to me about and it was kind of shocking because he has some idea of what going on but he just not that put together

Argyle:you I been telling you to interview

Benny:in his understanding of several things.

Benny:So it's just like, oh yeah,

Benny:Millennium Central Execution Book took him

Benny:for a significant bump.

Benny:And I'm like, what the hell did he do?

Benny:I'm like...

Benny:I know, I'm trying to think.

Benny:I'm like, what did he...

Benny:But, I mean, he was underpaid on the team, and then he is very sensitive when people yell at him.

Gamemaster:I mean, I don't like getting yelled at.

Benny:So he started performing poorly because people were yelling at him.

Gamemaster:I get it.

Gamemaster:I'm sorry.

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:This is a slight tangent, but do you know the founder of Millennium Management?

Gamemaster:Because his name is two countries.

Benny:Is he Englander?

Benny:is it just Israel

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Do you know what Englander's first name is?

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Argyle:each study is named israel and then the company the country that helped make israel pretty dope

Benny:yeah

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Benny:not a coincidence

Gamemaster:His name is just two countries.

Gamemaster:Good for him.

Argyle:not in christians

Gamemaster:Sure.

Benny:what England is

Gamemaster:Mmm.

Benny:we've established

Benny:as his parents, I guess.

Benny:Yeah, very interesting.

Benny:Also semi-awkward

Gamemaster:I mean, clearly he had something about him that made somebody else want to hire him.

Benny:now that he's

Benny:finally leaving.

Benny:Not a lot of people, especially in the last couple of months,

Benny:liked him. But he was also

Benny:just incredibly down

Benny:on his work.

Benny:Absolutely trying nothing

Benny:and being upset

Benny:regardless.

Benny:Yes.

Benny:Oh, yeah, yeah, definitely.

Benny:I knew he been interviewing I mean I initially heard earlier this week that he had resigned without an offer and I was like that not a good sign But also like I don know dude

Benny:I have low tolerance for negative vibes at work, regardless of if they're valid.

Benny:So, like, he's just, every stand-up, his update is,

Benny:I'm just doing some bullshit for this guy.

Benny:Like, literally, almost exactly what he would say.

Benny:I'm just taking care of some small things for blah, blah, blah.

Benny:And it's like, buddy.

Benny:sell yourself slightly

Gamemaster:Do you...

Argyle:He didn't buy into that rat race.

Benny:Jesus bro I'm getting depressed hearing about what you're working on

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Or, I mean, he did, just not with you guys.

Argyle:That rat race.

Gamemaster:Because I'm sure Millennium also has, like, the same culture.

Argyle:Yeah, I said that.

Benny:yeah

Benny:oh yeah

Benny:I think it's not going to be nicer

Benny:at Millennium

Benny:and he's like the central execution

Benny:book is also like heavily

Benny:like electronic

Argyle:Stressful.

Benny:Like, yeah, it's not.

Gamemaster:But...

Gamemaster:But maybe he's okay with the increased stress for more money.

Benny:That I think he would be, but I also don't think he gets yelled at well at all.

Benny:That was actually some people's analysis that I talked to like months ago.

Benny:They're like, yeah, I mean, because they've been a bunch of people have been up like promoted to managers on my team.

Benny:So they're doing like manager training and they're like doing some level of teaching them about personalities.

Benny:and it's like yeah he just like works better off of compliments than than getting yelled at he

Benny:actually responds very negatively to that and i'm like yeah i don't really care which is probably

Gamemaster:I get it.

Benny:why i'm performing well on this team like i don't care if i get yelled at for a lot of shit uh

Benny:it just doesn't really affect me and for him it's like absolutely the worst day ever

Benny:but yeah I was talking with my

Benny:I was talking with my manager about it

Gamemaster:Sometimes people don't like getting yelled at.

Benny:I was just like oh I didn't know

Benny:I didn't know they paid like that

Gamemaster:.

Benny:huh

Benny:my manager's like well

Benny:and then I was like yeah

Gamemaster:Now.

Argyle:Whoa!

Johnny:Do you guys want to play some Pathfinder?

Benny:I just don't want to go to a more stressful role

Benny:with less interesting work

Benny:like

Benny:and he's like yeah

Benny:even if the pay is better

Benny:I don't know

Benny:I don't know how much mind numbing shit I can do

Benny:I'm probably on my limit right now

Benny:sure

Gamemaster:Now.

Gamemaster:I want to be a level 20

Johnny:Oh, okay.

Johnny:Well, good thing, because...

Gamemaster:Call of Cthulhu character

Johnny:Yeah, this is actually Call of Cthulhu.

Gamemaster:Yes

Johnny:I hope you guys all prepared appropriately.

Gamemaster:Should I be playing music

Johnny:You have your madness counters ready?

Gamemaster:Or would you like to go without

Gamemaster:Is this going to be an upbeat one shot

Johnny:Oh, yeah, you can play some music.

Johnny:Whatever you feel like.

Johnny:Yeah, it'll be upbeat.

Gamemaster:That's the name of this track.

Johnny:All right.

Johnny:We're going back to Earth with you.

Johnny:There's a lot of stuff happening in the Astra, but none of it's affecting Earth right now because we're in the boonies of the boonies.

Johnny:Far away, we open on the shining city of Los Diablos, California, in the Great American Federation.

Johnny:Twilight descends over this hub of life and innovation.

Johnny:as we zoom in on the headquarters of Bisney and Dixar Animated Studios.

Johnny:Times are tough at Bisney and Dixar.

Johnny:People are not shelling out gold coins like they used to.

Johnny:And the higher-ups have said, you know, people don't like new IPs,

Johnny:so we're just going to keep remaking stuff because that works.

Johnny:So we keep zooming in and zoom in all through these headquarters

Johnny:to a very cramped little office looks like it may be a converted janitorial closet in the furthest back room of the studios There we see this little goblin intern He at his desk There this old

Johnny:looks like a MacBook or something, and he's reading a little memo that was left on his desk.

Johnny:It says, Inburn, bigwigs decided it's too expensive to make new stuff. IT's hooked up the new arcane

Johnny:intelligence to the ethernet, all our databases, and given you admin privileges. Get it to start

Johnny:making movies. Just reuse old assets. People love that shit. Oh, but make it something they've never

Johnny:seen before. Don't fuck it up. The intern kind of rereads that a few times, frowns,

Johnny:opens up his computer, pulls up their new arcane intelligence, starts typing in very fast,

Johnny:and then hits enter. Across the screen it says, creating movie, creating movie, creating movie.

Johnny:This goes on for five minutes, ten minutes.

Johnny:The intern kind of checks his watch, checks it again.

Johnny:Finally, it's an hour later, and he's out.

Johnny:He yawns, looks at his computer.

Johnny:It's still going.

Johnny:Stands, flicks off the lights, and leaves.

Johnny:All across the Disney and Pixar studios, people slowly begin to trickle out for the night.

Johnny:Lights get flicked off one by one until the whole studio is dark.

Johnny:and still in that one little office, creating movie, creating movie, until it's midnight,

Argyle:Oh.

Johnny:1 a.m., creating movie, creating movie, paradox encountered, circumventing,

Johnny:creating something new, paradox encountered, casting spell, creating new spell,

Johnny:drawing additional power, drawing additional power, drawing additional power.

Johnny:and in that small tiny room

Johnny:there's no one there to hear it

Johnny:when you wish upon a nyas and then ya be our guest be our guest be be be be

Johnny:There's this sonic boom that echoes out from this studio and all across Los Diablos, the

Johnny:lights go out one by one until the entire city is in a blackout.

Johnny:But back in that small office on the computer screen, with this buzzing filling the room,

Johnny:little arcane symbols begin to cascade across the scene,

Johnny:creating this arcane ASCII art.

Johnny:And we see what looks like a castle

Johnny:with a shooting star across it.

Johnny:Zoom in, and the scene changes,

Johnny:and it is this beautifully rendered ocean

Johnny:that looks like it costs millions of dollars to render.

Johnny:And a narrator's voice begins to speak

Johnny:as we zoom in across the ocean,

Johnny:and we see the sunrise on the beautiful, small, isolated island of Afro-China.

Johnny:The spire of Notre Dame rises high overhead.

Johnny:At the top of the tower, we see a temple to Zeus.

Johnny:We zoom into this temple, and there is a Giant statue in the center,

Johnny:which looks exactly like a mandrill, which has now come to life,

Johnny:holding a Giant staff and is looking down at three figures kneeling on the ground.

Johnny:Everyone all across the island knows that is the day of destiny.

Johnny:It is the day where the heroes are picked to save the world.

Johnny:Who do we see kneeling at the foot of this Giant mandrill statue?

Gamemaster:Jorge got his hand up.

Argyle:go for it go for it so you see someone kneeling who immediately steps he doesn't deal for anyone

Gamemaster:No, you got your hand up.

Argyle:and he has long black robes he's not that defined a little bit a little bit rounder a little bit

Gamemaster:Okay.

Argyle:rounded shoulders thicker forearms he's holding his hands i would move this but my dog's sleeping

Argyle:here like this.

Gamemaster:Thank you um

Johnny:Who's it cut to?

Argyle:Two hands there And his head is covered in a little blue flame And you see Hades from Hercules

Argyle:And he goes, oh, I'm put with you lot?

Argyle:You guys are buffoons.

Argyle:And then it cuts to someone else.

Gamemaster:um that next next to him uh is a uh in muscled uh very

Argyle:Josh.

Gamemaster:handsome

Johnny:I'm going to read a few more verses.

Gamemaster:hunter

Gamemaster:here I have a picture

Gamemaster:of him

Gamemaster:who says

Gamemaster:buffoons

Gamemaster:I'm not a monkey I'm a person

Gamemaster:this is

Gamemaster:it's not Gaston it's Fulton

Gamemaster:it's completely different

Gamemaster:and then

Gamemaster:yeah sorry

Benny:almost kneeling by default,

Benny:not even really much of an attempt to kneel there,

Benny:is a very familiar outline

Benny:populated by very unfamiliar features.

Benny:Strained, crazed, ravaged,

Benny:looks absolutely insane,

Benny:is some very, very old and forgotten IP.

Benny:This, nicknamed Brian,

Gamemaster:Oh.

Benny:is on the other side

Johnny:Great.

Benny:hearing

Gamemaster:Oh.

Benny:real Disney IP, by the way.

Gamemaster:Who is this?

Benny:That's not edited.

Benny:That's real from a real Disney short.

Benny:I watched the whole thing.

Benny:Hearing the monkeys comment just

Benny:It's Runway Brian.

Johnny:You three.

Johnny:That's runway Brian.

Gamemaster:Of course.

Argyle:So the only coordinating we did is we decided all three of us were going to be villains.

Argyle:Hey.

Johnny:solid

Johnny:this Giant

Argyle:There you go.

Johnny:baboon statue which has been animated with divine light

Johnny:looks down at the three of you

Johnny:I always knew this day would come

Johnny:long ago

Johnny:and the scene kind of fades away

Johnny:as you all go into a flashback.

Johnny:The demigod Maui stole an artifact of immense power,

Johnny:an enchanted mirror.

Johnny:Now, should the mirror not be recovered,

Johnny:the world will fall into darkness forever.

Johnny:Prove yourselves worthy.

Johnny:Recover the mirror.

Johnny:Our stories tell that Maui stashed it

Johnny:in an elephant graveyard filled with wonders.

Johnny:And it kind of flashes to an elephant graveyard

Johnny:just like overflowing with gems and gold.

Johnny:And then it cuts back to you guys.

Gamemaster:I take out of my backpack a hand mirror that I usually use for self-grooming.

Argyle:I kind of like darkness.

Johnny:Go now!

Johnny:Kind of gesture.

Argyle:I kind of like darkness.

Gamemaster:I say, does this work?

Gamemaster:Here's a mirror.

Gamemaster:Is that all you need?

Johnny:No, this one's not magic.

Gamemaster:I mean, I see my face in it.

Argyle:Fistan.

Gamemaster:That's kind of magic.

Argyle:Fistan.

Argyle:Is that your name?

Argyle:Again, mortal.

Benny:I think it talking about my character My character is a mouse for what it worth Yeah

Gamemaster:I'm never going to die, don't you worry.

Argyle:I cannot wait for you to die.

Argyle:I have such fun things planned for you.

Gamemaster:I'm immortal.

Argyle:He then taps the weird monkey thing next to him and he goes,

Argyle:it's going to be fun.

Argyle:It's going to be fun.

Gamemaster:Is the weird monkey thing pain?

Argyle:And his hair turns a little red.

Argyle:What?

Gamemaster:The weird monkey thing is pain right Oh okay I sorry Never mind I take it back

Argyle:Yeah Oh Oh sorry Sorry

Argyle:I forgot it was evil Mickey.

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:I thought you were talking about, like, pain and panic, because you're Hades.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:No, no, no, no, no.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Does the little monkey thing talk?

Argyle:Those guys.

Benny:there's the little

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Yeah, the little monkey thing.

Benny:my character

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Benny:the mouse

Argyle:Mouse? Monkey?

Benny:the mouse

Gamemaster:He called you a monkey, so you're a monkey.

Benny:alright

Benny:talk

Gamemaster:That's how that works.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Benny:talk little

Gamemaster:That's good enough for me.

Argyle:I do like jewels, so let's go get those.

Argyle:I haven't seen Hercules in so long, so I forgot how he talks.

Gamemaster:It's fine.

Argyle:Let's go get those.

Johnny:To get there, you will have to travel far across the sea.

Gamemaster:Oh, yeah.

Johnny:A boat is waiting for you.

Gamemaster:Oh, no.

Argyle:I'm a god.

Argyle:I can just teleport.

Argyle:Nothing happens when he snaps.

Argyle:He's like, what the fuck?

Argyle:Where am I?

Argyle:What the fuck is this?

Johnny:The magic of this island prevents teleportation.

Johnny:You guys look out into the distance and you can see it hasn't been rendered yet.

Johnny:And so it's just kind of like a bunch of vague colors and there's nothing else there and it kind of gets pixelated.

Benny:Brian will go

Gamemaster:I could have taken the swimming thing.

Argyle:there's no such thing as purgatory

Benny:Brian will see Hades

Benny:struggling with the snap and go

Benny:liminal space

Benny:purgatory

Argyle:only the underworld

Argyle:alright well

Benny:laughing

Johnny:you You guys

Gamemaster:So we just start walking All right I clearly the leader of this group so I go first I just start walking in a direction

Argyle:I guess so

Argyle:as he goes

Argyle:Hades looks and says

Johnny:You guys descend from the Tower of Notre Dame,

Argyle:look at this guy

Johnny:which is just in the center of the city.

Johnny:The bells are ringing.

Johnny:As you guys come out, there's a parade for you guys.

Johnny:Everyone knows that you are the heroes.

Gamemaster:It could have just made the ground smaller.

Johnny:You look around and see all the people you've known all your lives.

Johnny:It looks like there's about eight or nine of each single person.

Johnny:They had to reuse assets pretty heavily.

Johnny:They cheer you on.

Johnny:It looks like they may have added too many of these people.

Johnny:They're kind of stuttering and cutting about.

Johnny:But you guys follow this parade down to a boat, which...

Johnny:It is a traditional Polynesian wayfinder boat, which I hope one of you knows how to use.

Gamemaster:I mean, Maui was the one who stole the thing.

Argyle:Or two options.

Johnny:Just waiting for you to set sail into the horizon.

Johnny:I would

Gamemaster:I guess we gotta use his boat.

Gamemaster:Um, I don't know.

Gamemaster:Would warfare lore apply to using a boat?

Johnny:I'll say

Johnny:warfare lore

Gamemaster:Or...

Johnny:would apply

Johnny:I'll say crafting

Johnny:survival

Benny:The river sticks.

Gamemaster:What is local undead lore?

Argyle:Two options.

Johnny:local undead lore

Argyle:Local undead lore.

Argyle:Does that apply?

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:I say you can use undead lore but you have a minus four circumstance penalty

Argyle:Or what about regular undead lore?

Gamemaster:What's the difference?

Argyle:How about that one?

Argyle:I have both.

Argyle:Yes, let me understand.

Argyle:General undead.

Benny:Wait, what's your local...

Benny:Actually, I'll let Noah make the ruling before.

Benny:Okay what your undead lore with the minus 4

Gamemaster:Just summon Charon He got us

Argyle:I have a plus 18 I have a 14

Benny:because

Argyle:which is the same as my crafting

Benny:Brian has a plus

Argyle:without the minus 4

Argyle:alright we'll use yours

Benny:13 survival

Benny:oh

Gamemaster:I have a plus 17 warfare lore.

Benny:ship warfare

Gamemaster:But I also have a plus zero survival if we would prefer to use that.

Benny:I'm making bad decisions today

Johnny:I like that.

Gamemaster:Okay, I'm gonna roll survival then.

Argyle:I have a plus 18

Johnny:Two of you guys can roll.

Benny:why not

Benny:no

Benny:14

Argyle:dropped down to a plus 14 if we use

Argyle:undead

Argyle:no I'll roll

Gamemaster:How many people can roll, Noah?

Gamemaster:Sick.

Gamemaster:Then I'm gonna roll with abandon.

Benny:The 14 is higher than my 13.

Gamemaster:I did bad.

Argyle:before crit and this is after i subtracted the four i already subtracted

Johnny:uh

Gamemaster:I did so bad.

Johnny:uh

Johnny:fuelton gets in the boat

Johnny:looks around and goes

Johnny:where's the motor

Johnny:pulls one of the ropes

Johnny:it is not tied to anything

Johnny:the mainsail falls off

Johnny:it's a nightmare

Johnny:but hades

Johnny:you know that the power

Johnny:of death extends everywhere

Johnny:and you summon the river Styx

Johnny:up into the real world

Johnny:with that crit.

Johnny:The water just kind of turns green

Johnny:and you guys see a bunch of souls

Johnny:floating along it.

Johnny:They kind of all reach out towards you and scream.

Johnny:But

Johnny:with a crit,

Johnny:you guys are on your way

Johnny:and you've safely avoided

Johnny:any treacherous encounters

Gamemaster:I think

Johnny:that you might have had.

Johnny:you guys say oh there's a nice

Johnny:montage kind of fading in and out for you guys

Johnny:you're kind of stuck in a horrible liminal space

Johnny:as

Gamemaster:Oh.

Argyle:Did that wheel have Pinocchio?

Johnny:You just kind of fade in and out, getting to know each other on the boat, having fun adventures.

Johnny:In, like, one scene, there's a chicken on the boat.

Johnny:In another scene, there's not.

Johnny:There's a couple scenes of you guys piloting through a terrible storm.

Gamemaster:Oh.

Johnny:In the distance, you see a Giant whale, which luckily isn't in your guys' path because you guys roll really well.

Gamemaster:Oh.

Gamemaster:That's my perception.

Johnny:Yeah, that was the whale from Pinocchio.

Argyle:Great.

Benny:I got an 18.

Argyle:I got another crit for 34

Johnny:Can I get a perception check as you guys are going?

Johnny:All three of you can make this perception check.

Gamemaster:That's my perception.

Gamemaster:It is fine.

Gamemaster:Well,

Argyle:34

Gamemaster:I got a 17.

Benny:Ha ha.

Johnny:You got a crit?

Johnny:You got back-to-back crits?

Johnny:Oh, my gosh.

Johnny:That's crazy.

Johnny:uh you two are you're in this adventure you're gonna recover this mirror you guys are in it

Argyle:Mm-hmm.

Johnny:there's a couple things that don't quite make sense but hey who cares uh you two are both on

Johnny:the front of the prow singing a beautiful song that was written by Lin-Manuel Miranda

Johnny:uh and you're going on Hades something's not right this you're you're a god you're pretty

Johnny:sure you're a god but what are you doing here why why can't you teleport and as you're thinking

Argyle:Thank you I relay this to my companions and let them know that one of the titans might be trying to retake our world

Johnny:through all this you look up at the sky and for just a brief moment you swear there's something

Johnny:beyond the sky uh and it looks like a a dark room it's a weird perspective and you swear

Johnny:you see an enormous image of a cat hanging onto a branch and there's there's words underneath

Gamemaster:Thank you Like the football team

Johnny:and above it but you can read it because you only know it you can only read ancient greek you both look up and

Benny:you I think it is

Johnny:the titans will be remembered i think that disney ip i think that i think that's canon

Gamemaster:...

Johnny:uh hades you look up and it's gone again i was only there for a moment

Gamemaster:Clips.

Johnny:But you guys continue on.

Johnny:For many days and nights you travel across the ocean an undetermined distance until,

Johnny:when all three of you are asleep, suddenly you wash up on shore of a desert, which is

Johnny:also somehow the Serengeti.

Johnny:Doesn't quite make sense.

Johnny:What do you guys do?

Gamemaster:in our i forget in our like flashback did it show that we have to go through the serengeti

Johnny:I'll say this can be either a lore or a script.

Gamemaster:desert ocean beach to get to the mirror

Gamemaster:sorry

Gamemaster:i apologize for the interruption

Gamemaster:I have neither an appropriate lore skill nor a good survival

Benny:Underworld.

Argyle:I have 13 survival.

Johnny:Survival is only an appropriate lore skill.

Gamemaster:I got a big ol' goose egg

Benny:What's everyone else's survival is less than 13.

Benny:All right, but I'll roll it.

Johnny:Or, actually I'd say, or religion. This could be a religion check.

Gamemaster:Oh, well if we're talking religion, I don't know shit.

Argyle:I have a 12.

Gamemaster:That makes sense.

Johnny:Wow Brian you know deeply the story of Maui and what he been doing and you know that he had to travel that he traveled far and deep into the desert of the Serengeti to get to the Elephant Graveyard of Wonders which is hidden somewhere in the desert where all the elephants know

Johnny:That's where the elephants go to both die and also stash all their goods.

Benny:He'll point in the direction he thinks it is.

Gamemaster:Oh, okay.

Argyle:Hades is really animated like

Gamemaster:Um, was he pointing in a direction when he said that, or did he just growl and say here?

Gamemaster:Okay, the second you start pointing, I will start walking in that direction.

Gamemaster:He knows what he's doing.

Gamemaster:I trust the weird monkey thing.

Argyle:don't go that way and his like

Argyle:fire turns red and then it goes back to blue

Gamemaster:I don't see this because I'm already walking.

Johnny:You will send a little reflex save right now.

Argyle:and he's like, alright.

Argyle:He follows along, behind everyone.

Gamemaster:Oh, a cappard.

Gamemaster:I see.

Argyle:I want you guys to

Argyle:follow the traps first.

Gamemaster:Are there going to be traps in the desert, Serengeti?

Argyle:Have you ever been to a desert?

Gamemaster:I wouldn't think to check for them, so...

Argyle:About 15% of the people that have

Gamemaster:Do I have to roll a reflex save?

Argyle:come to the

Benny:How does that help you if you're on uneven ground?

Johnny:Yep, we're all reflexive.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:I'm going to use Reactive Shield to raise my shield.

Gamemaster:And because, oh gosh, I forget the name of the feat.

Gamemaster:I get to use my shield for reflex saves.

Gamemaster:One second.

Gamemaster:Now I have to figure out what it actually gets me.

Benny:You're just like, my shield!

Gamemaster:Uh not reflexive shield Where is it Shielded nope Shielded Recovery No I have too many shield feats

Benny:And then you fucking stand up fine?

Benny:Like...

Argyle:And the like.

Gamemaster:Reflexive Shield.

Gamemaster:You can use your shield to fend off explosions and the like.

Gamemaster:You gain your shield circumstance bonus to reflex saves.

Gamemaster:Yeah, explosions and the like.

Gamemaster:Okay, so...

Benny:Yeah, you just put your shield up and block the earth from hitting you.

Argyle:What if the reflex slave is to help you fall?

Argyle:And the like, all reflexes.

Gamemaster:And yeah, yeah, yeah, that's like an explosion, but the bomb is the ground.

Argyle:Thanks.

Argyle:It changes your center of gravity so you don't fall.

Gamemaster:I know how this works. There we go.

Gamemaster:Still so bad.

Gamemaster:17.

Johnny:As you say, there can't be any traps here.

Johnny:You just kick a pebble,

Johnny:and all of you guys watch this pebble

Johnny:roll an insane distance across the sand

Johnny:and also the grass that is somehow there at the same time

Johnny:to a cliff you guys didn't even notice.

Johnny:The rock falls off,

Johnny:and as it falls, it picks up momentum

Johnny:and starts falling off all these other rocks and cliffs.

Gamemaster:Wait, I'm sorry.

Johnny:You guys see there's a bunch of wildebeest

Johnny:down in this cliff.

Argyle:Oh no.

Johnny:The rocks fall down,

Johnny:startle the wildebeest,

Johnny:which go into a stampede,

Johnny:but only Fulton was in the way

Johnny:and takes

Johnny:as he is stampeded by wildebeest

Johnny:because he...

Gamemaster:I should actually have three more.

Gamemaster:I don't know if that does anything.

Gamemaster:I have a feeling it's still a failure, but I did read this wrong.

Gamemaster:I forgot I had Bulwark armor on.

Johnny:Oh, it's...

Johnny:But 20 is a success.

Gamemaster:Oh, sick.

Johnny:So you take half damage.

Gamemaster:I'll take it.

Gamemaster:Bulwark is crazy, by the way.

Argyle:But works great.

Johnny:This is not a lot of damage.

Johnny:One second.

Gamemaster:I don't know if we have anybody wearing heavy armor in the main campaign,

Gamemaster:but I fully dumped Dex,

Gamemaster:because I could just use that anyway.

Argyle:I used to use it, but now I change classes.

Gamemaster:Hmm.

Johnny:You take nine points of bludgeoning damage as you two are watching this all happen.

Johnny:And then in a weird twist of perspective, the wildebeest just stampede across him.

Johnny:And it's that sort of thing where you see just the wildebeest, then they clear for a second, and it's fueled to looking beat up.

Benny:You added three?

Gamemaster:12 points you said?

Johnny:And then they come back and they clear for a second, and they come back and clear for a second.

Johnny:Nine.

Gamemaster:9.

Gamemaster:Where did I get 12 from?

Gamemaster:Clearly.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Ow!

Gamemaster:I'm choosing to believe that all of the damages

Gamemaster:as they rush past me, they've stepped on my toes.

Johnny:is they they just on your toes they're very specific about it

Benny:Euston's got his fucking feet out

Gamemaster:which are not armored.

Gamemaster:It's very painful.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Benny:oh okay

Gamemaster:I'm just wearing, like, regular boots.

Johnny:this is also a quentin tarantino movie

Johnny:but you guys continue on

Gamemaster:This is also a

Gamemaster:Quentin Tarantino movie, yeah.

Gamemaster:Oh.

Johnny:you follow

Benny:okay

Johnny:through the desert

Johnny:until you find

Johnny:what looks like elephant prints

Johnny:which are just kind of big circular indentations

Johnny:in the ground

Johnny:and you can follow them on for

Johnny:another montage

Johnny:sometimes day, sometimes night

Johnny:in one shot you guys have your

Johnny:your shirts off

Johnny:and they're over your head

Johnny:because it's so hot

Johnny:in another

Johnny:you like found a little oasis

Johnny:until finally

Johnny:it is night time

Johnny:and you guys are crossing

Johnny:and you come to a certain spot which you just know by instinct and the stars and the music that has begun to play is the elephant graveyard of wonders

Gamemaster:you Yeah

Johnny:And as you stand there, the sands begin to swirl,

Johnny:and out of the ground erupts a massive tiger's head,

Johnny:and its mouth glows, and eyes.

Johnny:This is what the cave of wonders looked like in the real Aladdin.

Johnny:It looks at all of you.

Johnny:Do you wish to enter the cave?

Gamemaster:Not really.

Argyle:I'm great with graveyards

Johnny:Graveyard.

Argyle:I'm great with graveyards

Argyle:Lowkey I feel like you should report to me

Argyle:So

Argyle:Yeah we should have access

Johnny:Then answer this question.

Johnny:Only the true of heart can answer this question.

Johnny:What is the most powerful magic?

Johnny:True love's kiss?

Johnny:Friendship?

Benny:well

Gamemaster:I thought it was chronomancy.

Argyle:That's a good.

Johnny:and uninterrupted long rest.

Benny:what

Benny:would

Benny:sibling

Benny:tell us

Benny:you truth teller

Benny:or liar

Johnny:No, the tiger head looks around and goes,

Johnny:it's just me.

Johnny:I'm the only head

Benny:Good views.

Gamemaster:Sorry, what were our options again?

Argyle:who loves first kiss

Johnny:what's

Benny:Good views.

Gamemaster:Well, there's three answers

Benny:Just kiss.

Argyle:yes

Benny:I forgot the second one

Benny:in a long,

Benny:a full long rest.

Johnny:what's the most powerful magic

Johnny:true love's kiss

Johnny:friendship

Johnny:or an uninterrupted long rest

Gamemaster:and there are three of us so if we all say a different answer at the same time we gonna get it right Oh I thought I was onto something

Argyle:Don do that yeah so

Argyle:let's think this through

Gamemaster:I don't think that's true love.

Argyle:true love's first kiss

Argyle:doesn't mean shit

Argyle:a lot of people

Argyle:sleep with hookers first so that doesn't matter

Argyle:um

Argyle:what

Argyle:yes

Benny:sample

Argyle:second one um friendship that's not real friendship's not real

Gamemaster:Like, there was...

Gamemaster:There was a predicate.

Gamemaster:It didn't say any kind of kiss.

Gamemaster:friendship isn't real

Argyle:friendship's not real let's be honest everyone wants something so that doesn't exist you don't

Gamemaster:I have plenty of friends back in my village

Gamemaster:no I do

Argyle:they're using you

Argyle:and

Gamemaster:they all practically worship me

Argyle:long rest

Gamemaster:it's great

Gamemaster:I don't even know what a long rest is

Argyle:that's it

Argyle:that's the only thing that can keep you from dying

Argyle:you know when you

Gamemaster:I just get a regular rest in this system.

Argyle:you know when you go to sleep

Gamemaster:It's a trick question.

Argyle:and you never wake up

Argyle:and then you come back to Hades

Gamemaster:That's not a thing.

Argyle:that's me

Argyle:I'm the god of death

Gamemaster:I don't know who you are.

Gamemaster:I don't know.

Argyle:you don't understand

Gamemaster:It's unclear where Beauty and the Beast happens,

Gamemaster:but it's probably somewhere in Europe,

Gamemaster:but definitely not Greece.

Argyle:you might not know this

Benny:Wow.

Johnny:I think it's like somewhere.

Argyle:but when you die

Argyle:you go to me

Argyle:what do you think

Gamemaster:Well, I'm not going to die, so it doesn't matter.

Argyle:raccoon

Argyle:yeah he agrees with me number three uh Number three

Gamemaster:Yeah, which of these three things fit best, Rocket Raccoon?

Benny:Wow.

Johnny:Also, it doesn't.

Benny:Uh,

Benny:three.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:He the wisest of them all I still think it chronomancy but we go with your option

Argyle:I'm okay doing a different one, if you guys are confident.

Argyle:I can't die. You guys can't, so.

Gamemaster:No.

Gamemaster:We're clearly not confident.

Gamemaster:What do you mean if you guys are confident?

Argyle:Should we, like...

Argyle:Can I, like, use Undead Lore to, like, vibe out this guy?

Gamemaster:If I hit it with my sword, I will be able to learn something about it.

Argyle:33

Johnny:Yeah, roll. Roll an attack roll.

Argyle:no

Gamemaster:Do you think that would help?

Gamemaster:Do you think he would mind?

Johnny:Ladies, you learn this is not an undead, it is a Giant construct,

Argyle:33

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Argyle:okay

Johnny:and therefore you have no domain here.

Gamemaster:That's fair.

Argyle:we should kill it it's fake

Gamemaster:I

Gamemaster:wait

Benny:Wait.

Argyle:it's impersonating one of my kind

Gamemaster:what

Gamemaster:what do you mean

Argyle:by the way I'm not undead

Gamemaster:what made you think it was one of your kind

Argyle:but I own all undead

Gamemaster:but what made you think this is undead

Argyle:so it's not that I think it was one of my

Argyle:it's in a graveyard

Gamemaster:it's a Giant sand cat

Argyle:in a graveyard

Argyle:you don't just get the half domain of a graveyard

Benny:Wait.

Argyle:unless you're owned by me

Gamemaster:I'm in a graveyard

Benny:Wait.

Argyle:yeah but you're a man

Gamemaster:or I'm right next to one

Gamemaster:I'm not undead

Gamemaster:I'm not gonna die

Argyle:so I own you when you die

Argyle:so it's the same thing

Benny:Wait.

Benny:both dead

Argyle:you're totally gonna die.

Gamemaster:let

Argyle:And I can't wait to put you on a...

Gamemaster:let the vole speak

Benny:keep talking

Benny:construct

Argyle:Okay.

Benny:no love no friendship

Benny:rest

Argyle:Okay.

Gamemaster:yeah

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:Is that your final answer?

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Argyle:Rest. Long rest.

Argyle:Yes.

Benny:Bye.

Johnny:The winds kick up around you.

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Sick.

Argyle:Hold you.

Johnny:swirls, the light glows inside of this creature's mouth, and then it settles back, and it's

Johnny:just a Giant cave mouth shaped like a tiger.

Argyle:

Gamemaster:Is the graveyard in the tiger mouth?

Johnny:Mm-hmm.

Gamemaster:Could elephants fit in there?

Johnny:You guys didn't try saying you were elephants.

Johnny:It's like a big tiger mouth.

Argyle:Walk in.

Gamemaster:No?

Gamemaster:Good enough for me.

Gamemaster:Start walking in.

Johnny:You guys descend down.

Johnny:it's a surprisingly short

Johnny:walk down you expected to

Johnny:I don't know maybe go under the ground but it

Johnny:seems an unreasonably short walk down

Johnny:that you look up and there's like a high vaulted ceiling

Johnny:and then you look back at the stairs and it's like

Johnny:four or five stairs doesn't quite

Johnny:check out

Johnny:but you enter into

Johnny:this vast cavern

Johnny:that is overflowing with

Johnny:both

Johnny:riches of every sort. Gold, vases, jewels, and also just a lot of elephant bones. There's elephant

Johnny:skulls, elephant tusks. They are all over the place. There's also sort of purplish light

Johnny:glowing everywhere, and off in the shadows you see things flickering and moving that look like

Johnny:small animals of some sort off in the corners. And as you enter down, you hear a voice laugh,

Johnny:and you look up and you see

Johnny:what from the waist up looks like

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Thank you you Is this like

Argyle:Can't or won't?

Johnny:a tiger with sort of darker evil

Johnny:person colors and from the bottom

Johnny:down is entirely smoke

Johnny:and in a voice that

Johnny:sounds sort of like Jeremy Irons doing a

Johnny:Middle Eastern impression, which

Johnny:I can't do

Johnny:the tiger genie thing

Johnny:I'm not going to

Argyle:Can't or won't?

Johnny:attempt that one

Johnny:I out of the mind the creature says who enters my elephant graveyard of wonders

Gamemaster:Shere Khan genie?

Gamemaster:Or is this the tiger that we just walked through

Gamemaster:but is a genie?

Gamemaster:Or a third tiger that I don't know of

Gamemaster:from Disney?

Johnny:uh

Gamemaster:Okay, I'm more confused now. That's fine.

Johnny:sorry did I say tiger

Johnny:I meant lion

Benny:There.

Argyle:The god of death, some arrogant man, and a rodent.

Johnny:It's a lion from the waist up, wearing like nice clothes, and from the bottom down, it's just a bunch of smoke.

Gamemaster:Sure, absolutely.

Gamemaster:I don't think I'm the face here.

Gamemaster:I think I would immediately try to pick up

Argyle:well not the dead things

Gamemaster:one of the elephant bones

Gamemaster:I don't know.

Johnny:Don't touch that! Everything in here is mine!

Benny:mirror

Johnny:That's mine too. The bones are mine too. Everything is mine. I am. Yes. I am.

Argyle:it's fine

Argyle:no

Argyle:you are who

Johnny:I am. Stop, don't talk about me. This is my moment.

Johnny:Music starts to play in the background. It says, I am Jaskar.

Argyle:Okay. Sorry.

Gamemaster:Are we supposed to know who that is?

Johnny:I am.

Johnny:Once, he kind of flashed back, my brother was the sultan of Pride Rock.

Gamemaster:It Jafar after he wished to become a genie merged with Scar Okay gotcha Right that makes sense

Johnny:And you see a lion with like a big turban on his head.

Johnny:And I sought to overthrow him.

Argyle:Wait.

Johnny:But a street rat, which is also his son, used the power of a genie to trick me.

Argyle:Thank you yeah i remember you actually i got a report on you you were supposed to die but you decided to

Johnny:It kind of cuts to him getting the genie's lamp and wishing to be a genie.

Johnny:And then the smash cuts back to here.

Johnny:Thank you I have

Argyle:sign up to be a genie

Argyle:that's true

Gamemaster:You think everyone's supposed to die? You could say that about every person.

Argyle:you guys are all mortal

Argyle:but don't you have to like answer riddles 3

Johnny:I have ultimate cosmic power now. I will never die.

Gamemaster:I think that's trolls.

Johnny:No, I...

Johnny:Genius Grant wishes.

Gamemaster:Does that mean you could grant our wish?

Johnny:No, you do not hold my lamp.

Gamemaster:I wish that this bone is mine.

Gamemaster:So if I pick up your lamp, then you could...

Argyle:whoa whoa whoa whoa

Gamemaster:

Gamemaster:whoop

Argyle:Hold your lamp?

Argyle:I'm not into that kind of stuff.

Johnny:It's not dirt. It's not dirt.

Johnny:Minions!

Johnny:and as he yells minions from every corner you see these swarms of creatures begin to pour out.

Johnny:You see swarms of land animals like some hyenas, wildebeests, other lions, bears, horses.

Johnny:Again, it looks like they had to reuse assets and these ones are a little poorly rendered.

Argyle:Hmm.

Johnny:You see a bunch of birds, some toucans, some owls, some bats, some winged monkeys from behind you.

Gamemaster:Look.

Argyle:how dare you

Johnny:sharks, little whales, fishes, some eels swim out of the ground. It looks like there's water there,

Johnny:but there's not water there. It's still working for them though. And they surround you.

Argyle:and I raise my arms

Argyle:and then you see just like

Argyle:three just normal dudes

Argyle:in like togas show up

Argyle:and they're like trying to look strong

Argyle:And I was like, we got more where that came from.

Gamemaster:They don't look like zombies or anything? It's just three guys?

Johnny:Yeah three Grecian drop Roll initiative Yes there are three You can show up a roll initiative

Argyle:Three spirit-looking guys, like ghosts.

Gamemaster:Oh sure. Yeah. Yeah.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:Hmm Mmm

Benny:you I think I just a D20

Gamemaster:But we fighting everything from Pride Rock

Johnny:Hello.

Johnny:What are you going to do?

Gamemaster:God damn it.

Gamemaster:That's fine.

Gamemaster:I'm just a d20

Johnny:Oh, wow.

Benny:No, but for...

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:for initiative

Benny:You have a plus zero to perception?

Gamemaster:it'd be listed under your perception

Gamemaster:oh no

Gamemaster:I don't know why it says I have a plus zero to initiative

Benny:I think that's the initiative bonus.

Benny:Like, you have perception, and then you have...

Gamemaster:oh

Gamemaster:that's a specific initiative bonus

Gamemaster:See, this is what I get for having never played Pathfinder.

Gamemaster:This is the first time using the Pathbuilder interface.

Benny:I also looked at path builder and I was like there's no way I have a plus zero it has to be my perception

Argyle:Yeah, I have a plus 14, and then a 2 plus

Johnny:Okay.

Gamemaster:Okay, so...

Gamemaster:I got a 31.

Benny:24 I think

Argyle:for my initiative bonus.

Johnny:What did you guys...

Argyle:I rolled a 2, so I got

Argyle:18.

Johnny:31 from Fuelton.

Gamemaster:Oh.

Johnny:18 from The God of Death.

Johnny:and 24 for Gary

Benny:For Brian.

Johnny:Brian

Johnny:alright

Johnny:might be helpful if you guys go to

Johnny:this shmepi link

Gamemaster:This is a combat.

Gamemaster:I thought we were going to resolve this through dialogue.

Gamemaster:Oh, gosh.

Gamemaster:It's a lot of gold.

Gamemaster:Cheaply animated water asset swarmed.

Benny:It's.

Gamemaster:Because he's got minions.

Argyle:Could you put just three guys around me?

Johnny:Yeah, the swarmed.

Johnny:But this is, feel free to move yourselves around

Johnny:sort of where you would be.

Johnny:You kind of move around a little bit.

Johnny:But this is sort of the setup.

Johnny:You see Jaskar, the poorly worded usurper,

Johnny:is in the back there,

Johnny:and you are surrounded by these swarms.

Johnny:And first up is Fuelton.

Johnny:Yeah.

Benny:There's so much detail.

Gamemaster:Yeah, AI likes to do that. I assume this is AI.

Johnny:This is AI, yeah.

Benny:Holy.

Gamemaster:It just likes to... Oh, he wanted items? We'll give you items!

Johnny:You want things in there?

Benny:Give me as many birds as possible.

Benny:Put all the birds in there.

Johnny:The swarm assets are terrible the further you look at them.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Benny:I'm zoomed in so far right now.

Gamemaster:I'm going to

Gamemaster:I think we're going to run a tactic

Gamemaster:let's do a demoralizing charge

Gamemaster:I point at the small mammal

Gamemaster:I point at Hades

Gamemaster:I'm going to need both of you

Gamemaster:to immediately stride towards an enemy that you want to fight

Gamemaster:and then attack it if you want

Gamemaster:you don't have to attack it

Gamemaster:but you can attack it if you like

Gamemaster:it's a reaction for Hades

Benny:as a reaction.

Argyle:I have to try.

Johnny:Thank you Thank you All right

Gamemaster:it's not a reaction for you

Gamemaster:okay you both get to move

Benny:Oh, it's just a reaction?

Gamemaster:you both get to move for free

Gamemaster:as a free action right now as long as it's towards

Gamemaster:an enemy

Gamemaster:in addition it's a reaction

Benny:Mm-hmm.

Gamemaster:to make a strike

Gamemaster:but

Gamemaster:I can just make it

Gamemaster:free for one of you so I gonna make it free for the mammal because I assume you attack things I don actually know what you do What

Benny:Mm Wait where was I

Argyle:Can you do it for one of my thralls instead

Gamemaster:It's for your team.

Gamemaster:I can signal up to two squad mates. If you would

Argyle:Alright.

Gamemaster:prefer that I signal one of

Argyle:Yes.

Gamemaster:the necromancers, one of the

Gamemaster:thralls, sure.

Argyle:One of the thralls in the top

Argyle:moves up and swipes at the guy.

Gamemaster:Okay, that is

Gamemaster:your reaction, just to clarify.

Gamemaster:Or the thralls reaction? I don't know

Gamemaster:how necromancers work.

Benny:I think I can barely get over here.

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:Okay, roll attack rolls for the attacking the ground asset swarms.

Argyle:Let me find...

Argyle:Oh!

Benny:I have a movement speed of 40.

Gamemaster:That's ridiculous.

Argyle:My thrall got a 16.

Argyle:18, 18.

Argyle:18.

Benny:Let me roll attack.

Johnny:18 does not hit.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:29 for the cheaply animated water assets warm

Johnny:It just barely misses as there are so many creatures kind of moving around.

Benny:it's a crit

Johnny:Super hits the cheaply animated water asset swarms.

Johnny:You just go to town pummeling some fish.

Benny:yeah

Johnny:Did you say 29?

Benny:perfect

Johnny:That is exactly a crit.

Benny:so that's

Benny:2 times

Benny:holy shit

Benny:2d8

Benny:oh wait hold on that's the wrong one

Benny:2d6

Benny:plus

Benny:6 plus

Benny:1d6

Benny:shock

Benny:40 and the shock rune on a critical hit electricity arcs out to a

Johnny:Treat And that was bludgeoning damage the first one

Argyle:you What class is this mouse

Benny:is runway

Benny:runway is a monk

Benny:there are no other enemies within 10 feet

Benny:so the crit effect does

Benny:zilch but that's

Benny:Brian's hit

Benny:yes

Gamemaster:Um, the...

Johnny:Okay.

Benny:magical bludgeoning

Benny:and the 1d6 of it

Benny:the second d6 was electric

Gamemaster:Uh, because this is a demoralizing charge and Runway hit the Swarmt, they do have to make a will save right now against my DC.

Johnny:Okay, cool.

Johnny:Okay.

Benny:kill him

Johnny:They will save.

Johnny:Scroll over here.

Johnny:They got a 22.

Gamemaster:Um, okay, absolutely.

Johnny:Nope, wait, sorry.

Gamemaster:Uh, 22 is...

Johnny:They got way worse than that.

Johnny:That should have been minus.

Johnny:That should have been a 16.

Gamemaster:Uh, 22 failed.

Johnny:Sorry, they got a 16.

Gamemaster:So, um, they are...

Gamemaster:Oh, they got a 16?

Johnny:Mm-hmm.

Gamemaster:Darn.

Gamemaster:That's just barely not a crit.

Johnny:They can be afeard.

Gamemaster:Okay, they're Frightened 1, if they can be a Feared.

Gamemaster:I don't know if they can.

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely. So they are afeard.

Johnny:This swarm can be frightened.

Gamemaster:And then I'm going to use my third action to call out a pincer attack.

Gamemaster:Anybody who would like to, that has a reaction available, can step.

Gamemaster:including the thralls And if anything that steps is adjacent to a creature at the end of the step that creature is flat

Argyle:you I think all my thralls can move but

Gamemaster:until the end of my next turn.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Sorry, until the start of my next turn.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:Can they move?

Gamemaster:It says signal all squadmates.

Gamemaster:Each can step as a reaction.

Argyle:Or...

Benny:What's the flat footed thing?

Gamemaster:They don't get to strike, they just get to move.

Argyle:Both move and strike.

Argyle:Oh.

Argyle:Alright.

Argyle:They don't move.

Gamemaster:If they step and they end the step adjacent to an enemy,

Gamemaster:that enemy is flat-footed to them until the start of my next turn.

Argyle:They move!

Gamemaster:And that's all three of my actions.

Gamemaster:I know that was a really weird turn.

Gamemaster:Commander is a weird class.

Benny:If they're surrounded.

Johnny:You did so much, but didn't do anything.

Gamemaster:Yeah, I at no point moved the entirety of that thing.

Gamemaster:I didn't attack anything.

Gamemaster:It's fine.

Johnny:It's also weird that swarms can be off guard.

Johnny:There's so many of them.

Johnny:Okay.

Gamemaster:Actually, I don't know if they can, for what it's worth.

Johnny:I hope...

Johnny:It doesn't say we're in the stat block.

Gamemaster:No, that's weird.

Gamemaster:They're immune to grappled, prone, and restrained.

Benny:Nice.

Johnny:Next up is Brian.

Benny:It'd be really cool

Gamemaster:They can still be off guard.

Benny:if my character wasn't around

Gamemaster:Funky.

Benny:grappling.

Benny:I'll get you, Farmer.

Benny:Oh!

Benny:Brian!

Benny:Let's see.

Benny:Did Jorge's language model get back to me?

Benny:Yes.

Gamemaster:What?

Benny:Listen.

Benny:I asked it what I should do as a monk

Gamemaster:And it said punch?

Benny:for the gameplay loop.

Benny:No, because I have mixed maneuver

Benny:I can grapple, reposition, shove, or trip.

Gamemaster:Yeah, I'm sorry.

Johnny:Oh.

Benny:What are these immune to?

Johnny:You do not know.

Benny:Oh, okay. Fair enough.

Gamemaster:I was metagaming when I, like, looked up the sworn trait.

Gamemaster:I apologize.

Johnny:You can recall knowledge on this swarm of poorly animated fish.

Gamemaster:Oh, I forgot to do that.

Gamemaster:Darn.

Benny:But I feel like on some level

Benny:prone doesn't make sense.

Benny:But either way.

Benny:I will

Benny:go into my stone strike stance.

Gamemaster:Yeah, you go punch those fish.

Johnny:The triple S.

Benny:And then

Benny:I will

Benny:Yeah, why not? We'll just hit him a bunch.

Benny:How does

Benny:No.

Gamemaster:Did you step with my pincer attack?

Gamemaster:Oh.

Benny:Was I supposed to?

Gamemaster:Well, they're not off guard to you.

Benny:for the off-guard thing.

Argyle:no but he's getting flanked by the

Gamemaster:Oh, it's being flaked, so it doesn't really matter.

Argyle:thrall they can flank

Benny:Yeah, they're flanked.

Gamemaster:That's fair.

Benny:Yeah, we're going to go Flurry of Blows.

Johnny:I thought Flurry of Blows doesn't apply map until afterwards

Benny:So I get two

Benny:attacks, I believe, with Map.

Gamemaster:This is a battle.

Benny:I think my

Benny:strikes here are Bludgeoning, Brawling, Forceful, and Unarmed.

Benny:So I think they're minus five to the next one.

Gamemaster:Apply your multiple attack penalty to the strikes normally.

Argyle:You're welcome.

Johnny:I might be wrong about that

Benny:Oh, wait, let me check.

Johnny:they might have changed that in the

Johnny:That's a crit.

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Unfortunate.

Benny:So the first one's a 34.

Gamemaster:Nice.

Benny:Very nice.

Benny:I have to multiply everything again.

Benny:but this now it 2d8 plus 6 plus 1d6

Benny:This is, these are stone strike.

Benny:so

Benny:I don't know if they have

Benny:vulnerability to

Benny:cold iron and silver

Gamemaster:Yeah, you beat up those fish.

Johnny:They do not.

Benny:it's 38 damage

Johnny:They are still upright.

Benny:and then my second attack

Benny:29

Benny:I wish I had Benny

Johnny:That is a crit again.

Johnny:I'm gonna make these guys have higher AC.

Benny:I wish I had Benny

Benny:because these crits are fun

Gamemaster:They are stunned.

Benny:Benny doesn't crit

Benny:40 for the second attack

Benny:oh and I'm going to attempt to stun

Benny:yeah

Johnny:40 damage?

Johnny:Uh, it doesn't matter.

Johnny:You just...

Johnny:Uh, and then

Johnny:you just have, uh, Sushi.

Johnny:The fish are dead.

Benny:perfect uh runway ryan will take a bite and then we'll use

Johnny:Jeez.

Benny:where is it i just saw it

Gamemaster:I don't understand how this works.

Benny:it's a two action thing

Benny:wild stride

Benny:so i gain a plus 10 circumstance bonus and i stride twice

Benny:How far does that get me?

Benny:It gets me 100 feet.

Gamemaster:Oh, I do understand how this works.

Gamemaster:at first I thought it was

Gamemaster:I thought it was a monk thing and I was trying to figure out how having two free hands lets you move further it not a monk thing and I was trying to figure out how having two free hands lets you move further It not a monk thing

Argyle:you Woohoo

Johnny:Okay.

Benny:No it is an awakened animal ancestry

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Benny:So I get 100, and I will pull up to the other side

Argyle:Art just had it

Benny:of this cheaply animated ground asset swarm.

Benny:And that is the turn.

Johnny:next up is

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:Jeskar

Johnny:poorly worded usurper

Johnny:um

Johnny:he

Johnny:what actions does he have

Gamemaster:I like his little icon.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Johnny:that one looks very real

Gamemaster:AI is very good at recreating the Disney-like art style.

Benny:I love Pixar eyes.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Johnny:Um...

Benny:Yes.

Gamemaster:Sort of immense cosmic power.

Johnny:Yeah, first he's going to use...

Johnny:Discount Cosmic Power!

Johnny:He will look at Runway Brian, who is doing a lot of damage.

Johnny:Just tearing through stuff.

Johnny:Oh wait, this is...

Johnny:Brian, can you make a Reflex save as he summons immense... sort of immense Cosmic Power?

Johnny:22 is a failure.

Benny:22

Gamemaster:dumb

Johnny:So you will take...

Johnny:Let me roll this guy.

Johnny:What is the damage type on this guy?

Johnny:What are the damage?

Benny:you Okay

Gamemaster:He does nothing He does something

Johnny:You take 44 points of spirit damage as a sort of immense cosmic power shoots out towards

Johnny:And for his third action, he will begin to sing, be ready!

Johnny:He's going to choose one of his animated henchmen to move for him.

Gamemaster:Oh, gosh.

Argyle:that flourish are we doing that or no

Johnny:He also can do commander stuff.

Johnny:This guy will fly up here to block the path to him.

Johnny:No one's getting up to him.

Johnny:But that is his turn.

Johnny:Next up is Hades.

Johnny:Yeah, we have a lot of stuff.

Argyle:All right.

Argyle:Hades gets angry and his head and his fire turns red for a moment

Argyle:and he points at one of his thralls and he goes,

Argyle:You! Go do your thing!

Argyle:And Thrall over here is going to charge!

Argyle:Right there.

Argyle:And then he's going to make a strike at the cheaply animated Sky Asset.

Argyle:16

Johnny:That hits.

Argyle:24

Argyle:does that hit

Argyle:great

Johnny:Yes.

Argyle:he does

Argyle:2d6

Argyle:plus

Argyle:2d6

Argyle:spirit damage

Argyle:13 spirit damage

Argyle:yes yes

Johnny:He kind of swats at the birds.

Johnny:He gets a bat, and the bat hits the ground and kind of twitches.

Argyle:and Hades is like

Argyle:be gone

Argyle:And then he casts Necrotic Bomb, and the thrall explodes,

Johnny:Oh, shit.

Argyle:and both creatures that are within the 10 feet

Argyle:will now take 4d12 void damage.

Johnny:What?

Johnny:That's crazy.

Johnny:Is there a save?

Argyle:Basic 4d12.

Johnny:Okay.

Johnny:What does the fort save on these guys?

Johnny:Okay.

Argyle:I rolled real well.

Johnny:This first one is fort.

Argyle:Okay.

Johnny:Jesus, this first one is for the ground asset.

Johnny:They got a...

Johnny:Wow, a 17.

Johnny:This is for the sky asset.

Argyle:Uh, that succeeds.

Argyle:Oh, it fails, it fails, but yeah, not critically.

Johnny:And the sky asset...

Johnny:Wow, those are terrible rolls.

Johnny:The sky asset got a 14.

Argyle:Critically fails.

Argyle:My spell DC is 26,

Argyle:so he takes double the damage.

Johnny:Okay, how much damage was that?

Argyle:It was a good amount.

Argyle:39.

Benny:the 17th coming up in church

Argyle:So,

Johnny:And then...

Benny:that succeeds

Benny:well I mean it succeeds

Benny:it succeeds at not critically failing

Benny:I mean

Johnny:The sky asset swarm is not looking great.

Johnny:The ground asset swarm is a little hardier.

Argyle:so since that's flourished

Gamemaster:What?

Johnny:And this one, this guy disappeared.

Argyle:I have one more action

Argyle:and I'm going to now I used command thrall

Argyle:necrotic bomb now I'm going to use

Argyle:create thrall

Argyle:and because I'm a puppeteer

Argyle:I'm going to create three of them

Johnny:Oh my god.

Argyle:yeah

Argyle:so you need to make three

Argyle:I want

Argyle:and they can be within 30 feet of me

Argyle:so I'm going to put

Argyle:one back where the other one was and then one let me just one over here

Johnny:you Right where you are

Argyle:if you could

Argyle:the bottom blanking

Johnny:Right there.

Argyle:yeah

Argyle:and then another one

Argyle:right over here

Argyle:and then he's just like

Johnny:This is insane.

Johnny:How do you fight that?

Johnny:What?

Johnny:what?

Argyle:and now my army's coming for you

Argyle:it hasn't even gotten mean yet

Johnny:okay

Argyle:alright

Argyle:yeah

Johnny:um

Johnny:yeah, you have anything else you'd like to do?

Argyle:no that's my turn

Johnny:okay

Johnny:it's now

Johnny:uh

Johnny:it's the swarm's turns

Johnny:uh, first we'll go with the

Johnny:cheaply animated ground asset

Johnny:They will do...

Johnny:Yeah, they'll do a six-frame stampede.

Johnny:So they'll just...

Johnny:I don't know what to do here.

Argyle:Okay.

Johnny:They will move twice their speed.

Johnny:Okay.

Johnny:These guys will...

Johnny:Just run straight through all of these guys to end up right there.

Gamemaster:I use reflexive shield.

Johnny:And everyone that passed through has to make a reflex save.

Argyle:28 for Hades

Argyle:They gone The thralls Yeah the thralls they gone yeah

Johnny:succeeds and your thralls have to Oh oh Okay so they go away Oh

Gamemaster:They have like what one HP

Johnny:Okay.

Johnny:So they're gone.

Johnny:Fuelton, what'd you get?

Johnny:Okay, well you

Gamemaster:I crit with a 38.

Johnny:you take no damage

Johnny:and Jorge, you take

Johnny:half of that, so you take 11 points

Johnny:of bludgeoning damage.

Johnny:that was two actions

Argyle:okay

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:I mean, you could just say that it ran there, if you would prefer.

Argyle:Okay.

Johnny:it's their third action

Johnny:is

Johnny:I ran too far so it's third action

Johnny:will just be

Johnny:I guess to step and get up and fuel

Johnny:in space

Johnny:okay if you guys are okay with that

Gamemaster:Like, that's fine.

Johnny:Okay. Then it will just

Gamemaster:If the next action is to be to attack me, yeah, that's fine.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:swing at you for an attack.

Gamemaster:Uh, that is my DC right now.

Johnny:One moment.

Johnny:What is this guy's...

Johnny:A 29 hit.

Johnny:All right.

Gamemaster:Sorry, my AC. I know. Words.

Johnny:You take 19 points of slashing damage as a bunch of claws just over you.

Gamemaster:Absolutely. One second.

Gamemaster:19, you said?

Johnny:Mm-hmm.

Gamemaster:I'm just double checking how like

Gamemaster:shield block works with reactive shield and reflexive shield this is something I should have figured out beforehand

Johnny:Okay Seeing that the thralls get popped pretty easily the birds are going to take a similar

Gamemaster:What does reflexive shield do?

Gamemaster:I mean, you can keep going.

Gamemaster:I just need to figure out how much HP I actually lose.

Johnny:approach and do their recycled fly-by, they will move. Yeah, they're just going to move

Argyle:Leave to start.

Johnny:straight down. They're technically on top of you guys right now. But actually, no, they

Johnny:wouldn't do that. Yeah, I would take this out. They're technically on top of you guys

Johnny:right now. But just so you guys can... Oh, cool. I can't do that. Both you guys make

Johnny:Reflex saves.

Johnny:A 20 is a failure.

Gamemaster:My shield is still up from the last time I had to do that.

Argyle:is

Argyle:hey

Gamemaster:I got a 32.

Johnny:A 32 is a crit.

Johnny:It's really underestimated how strong these guys would be.

Gamemaster:Sick.

Johnny:So the Hades, you take 10 points of slashing damage and are dazzled as a bunch of wings just kind of flutter around you.

Gamemaster:I think you have a reduction to perception checks.

Argyle:What does Dazzle do again?

Johnny:But that is their turn.

Johnny:So Fuelton, it is you.

Gamemaster:One second.

Argyle:Okay.

Argyle:and assuming I'm the one doing the attacks

Johnny:All creatures are concealed from you.

Gamemaster:Assuming your vision is your only precise sense.

Benny:Bye.

Gamemaster:I mean, like, so the way that it works is you can't target something until you make the DC5 flat check.

Argyle:my thralls on the other hand

Johnny:State that in the rules.

Gamemaster:Like, you can't tell the Thrall to attack something unless you can see it.

Argyle:i don't need to see it for a thrall to attack it

Gamemaster:You still need to make the DC5 flat check.

Gamemaster:Yes, you do.

Johnny:Existently say that thralls can see things you can't see.

Argyle:huh

Argyle:well i mean i could tell my dog to go attack someone and i don't need to see it

Gamemaster:Well...

Argyle:but i will be i'm okay

Argyle:with uh

Benny:I think also like

Gamemaster:Like, I...

Johnny:I'm going to say

Argyle:okay

Gamemaster:I mean, I don't want to step on your toes as a DM, Noah,

Argyle:okay

Gamemaster:but there is no world in which that makes sense.

Gamemaster:Like, from a balancing standpoint.

Johnny:I'm going to say because it would affect

Johnny:attack rolls and spells, it's going to affect you telling your thralls to

Johnny:jump on things.

Argyle:yeah but the wording is like

Gamemaster:Yeah, like...

Benny:Thrall is not autonomous

Benny:it's a Thrall

Argyle:urge a thrall

Gamemaster:I...

Gamemaster:If...

Gamemaster:No.

Gamemaster:It's you make one of your thralls strike.

Argyle:Not if I use Thrall Charge.

Benny:I suggest

Benny:in thinly veiled language

Argyle:If I use Thrall Charge.

Benny:I suggest my thrall

Argyle:I urge.

Benny:may be attacking enemies soon

Gamemaster:My reasoning here is that you telling your thrall to attack counts for map.

Gamemaster:And I don't understand how that could possibly count for map if it didn't involve you doing something with the thrall other than yelling out,

Gamemaster:Attack!

Gamemaster:like

Argyle:Yeah, well, I urge it.

Gamemaster:you urge a thrall to move in attack

Argyle:look at the green thrall

Argyle:chart

Benny:If you feeling like it attack the nearest thing

Johnny:I think it'd be a good idea if you attacked this guy, not saying you have to.

Argyle:yeah yeah

Gamemaster:period you command

Gamemaster:the target thrall to stride and make

Gamemaster:a strike like you're commanding

Argyle:I'd say

Gamemaster:it to do the thing

Argyle:I just said go attack that thing

Argyle:you know I'm a manager

Argyle:you guys won't understand

Argyle:and managers don't care about implementation details

Argyle:they just care about the results but I will I will I will allow this to affect it

Gamemaster:Sure I It Noah game

Johnny:Okay so the floor No you have to make the DC5 check

Johnny:I'm not sure if you...

Johnny:No, I'm not sure if you have this one.

Johnny:This rotting corpse that I summoned is actually really autonomous.

Argyle:No, it's a spirit!

Johnny:Sorry, this spirit that I summoned is autonomous.

Argyle:Yeah, yeah.

Benny:Mm-hmm.

Gamemaster:Fuel 10 is gonna do what he did last turn, at least for the beginning.

Johnny:Okay, anyway, it's back to Fuelton.

Gamemaster:Let's do another demoralizing charge.

Gamemaster:I actually, I think runway Brian is too far away from me.

Gamemaster:One second.

Gamemaster:How do I measure with the measure tool?

Gamemaster:Yeah, runway Brian is too far away.

Gamemaster:Um, it has to be within 30 feet of me.

Benny:Unfortunate.

Argyle:Wait, what do you want to do?

Gamemaster:Is anybody within 30 feet of me that, like, would that be useful to you, Mr. Hades?

Gamemaster:Uh, if I, if I could, oh, actually, um, your Thrall is also not into it.

Gamemaster:If I used Demoralizing Charge, I think the only thing that would happen is you would

Gamemaster:be able to make a strike if you wanted to.

Gamemaster:I don't think that's useful, right?

Argyle:But I thought I was the one commanding the straws,

Argyle:so can I make the thralls take the time?

Gamemaster:No, because you have to...

Benny:This is a flat org.

Argyle:okay yeah i have a staff but it's probably not worth it

Gamemaster:I can let you make the strike action,

Gamemaster:not the command-a-thrall action.

Argyle:icms there's ic managers they gotta do work

Benny:He's not...

Gamemaster:Um...

Gamemaster:Okay.

Benny:Fjolsten is the Thrall skip.

Gamemaster:Okay, I'm going to...

Benny:...

Gamemaster:At the very least...

Gamemaster:You know what I just going to try and hit the cheaply animated Sky Asset Swarm I have a sword I allowed to take actions for myself I gonna do that

Johnny:Do it

Johnny:Do it.

Gamemaster:This is a 28 hit.

Johnny:28 does hit.

Gamemaster:Nice.

Gamemaster:um ideal 11 points of uh slashing damage um plus an additional uh oh wait i don't know why i rolled

Johnny:Okay.

Gamemaster:that i wasn't supposed to roll that uh it's a wounding sword so the birds all have d6 persistent

Gamemaster:bleed.

Gamemaster:And

Gamemaster:this wasn't... I should have

Gamemaster:declared this before I did this. This wasn't

Gamemaster:a normal attack. This was a

Gamemaster:combat assessment, which is a

Gamemaster:telegraphed attack that I make

Gamemaster:a strike, and then if it hits, I can

Johnny:Okay.

Gamemaster:immediately attempt to recall knowledge

Gamemaster:check on them.

Gamemaster:So I'd like to recall knowledge.

Johnny:Yes, make a recall knowledge nature check.

Gamemaster:Okay, I'm actually not the worst at nature.

Gamemaster:One second.

Gamemaster:I got a 25 crit because I rolled a natural 20.

Johnny:Yeah, does it create you everything or does it get you...

Gamemaster:So the thing about recall knowledge is that they've never been very good at saying what it gives you.

Johnny:Okay.

Gamemaster:So I think it's up to you.

Gamemaster:Um, yeah, it's literally, it's up to you.

Johnny:I will give you...

Gamemaster:Tell me what you want to tell me.

Johnny:With a crit, I'll give you two pieces of information about this thing that you can...

Johnny:Name two things you want to know about this.

Gamemaster:I want to know its weaknesses slash immunity slash resistances if you give that to me And then I also want to know its lowest save

Argyle:you Oh so Thrall exploding

Johnny:Thank you Yes

Johnny:Its lowest save is Will,

Johnny:and its weaknesses are...

Johnny:It's weak to area damage and splash damage,

Johnny:but it is resistant to bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing.

Johnny:I built the portal encounter

Gamemaster:Mm, that makes sense.

Argyle:Does extra damage to it?

Gamemaster:And now, gosh.

Johnny:and then Jorge made a necromancer

Johnny:and I

Gamemaster:I was this close to doing the alchemist bomber archetype as like a multi-class.

Johnny:I didn't

Gamemaster:I didn't, so you're saved.

Gamemaster:But I was very close to it.

Johnny:you can walk through it

Gamemaster:Anyway, that's one action.

Gamemaster:for my second action

Gamemaster:I don't even know

Benny:Would it be difficult to reign?

Argyle:What?

Gamemaster:okay you know what

Gamemaster:I think what has to happen is

Gamemaster:I trust Hades can take care of these guys

Gamemaster:they're injured he has things that blow up

Gamemaster:I'm leaving you

Gamemaster:this is 25 feet

Gamemaster:can I walk through the swarm

Gamemaster:how does that work

Gamemaster:okay

Gamemaster:that's 25 feet

Johnny:I didn't give these guys attack of opportunity for some reason,

Johnny:so you can just kind of walk through them.

Gamemaster:Oh, that's 25 feet.

Benny:I don't know.

Johnny:I would say it's difficult terrain,

Johnny:because there's just a lot of birds flying around.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Well, then I would have taken a different path to get out.

Gamemaster:5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 5, 10, 15, 20, 25.

Johnny:Okay.

Gamemaster:I'm there.

Gamemaster:Is that good enough?

Gamemaster:That's good enough.

Johnny:All right, next up is Brian.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:That was all three of my actions.

Benny:Ryan someone has left the runway open for Brian

Benny:And to stride.

Benny:Up to Jaskar.

Benny:Where he will.

Benny:Use.

Benny:Mixed Maneuver.

Benny:Mixed Maneuver allows him to make two.

Benny:Maneuvers.

Benny:Grapple.

Benny:Reposition.

Benny:Shove and trip.

Benny:Attempt both of the attacks.

Benny:you choose against the same or different creatures, but don't apply the attack

Gamemaster:All right, he doesn't have...

Argyle:The guy with no feet.

Johnny:make an athletics check

Benny:the map until after

Benny:resolving both. This takes two actions.

Benny:So he is going to attempt

Benny:to

Benny:trip Jeskar.

Benny:How do I trip?

Johnny:I will tell you though as you go to trip him

Johnny:you try and trip him and you

Johnny:you kind of maneuver him and he just

Benny:Oh, righty. That's didn't have any fucking...

Benny:that's okay I'm gonna

Gamemaster:He doesn't have feet.

Gamemaster:It's Tanner's worst nightmare.

Benny:fair enough so then I will attempt to grab him

Gamemaster:yeah get him

Johnny:He just kind of hovers there.

Johnny:He is immune to prone.

Benny:a grapple let me look up a grandpa real quick while I roll it 34

Johnny:He can be grabbed.

Gamemaster:get him

Johnny:He most definitely can be grabbed.

Johnny:What is this against?

Benny:Fort DC.

Gamemaster:Thank you Thank you you can subtract 10

Johnny:34, I assume that passes.

Johnny:Yeah, that passes.

Johnny:He is grappled.

Benny:Nice.

Benny:And the grabbed condition...

Benny:You're held in place by another creature.

Benny:You'll be off guard in immobilized conditions.

Benny:If you attempt to manipulate, you must succeed a DC five flat check.

Benny:Nice.

Benny:So he is off guard and immobilized Let see if this hits minus 10 for the map

Johnny:you Yeah because of the maneuvers I believe

Benny:yes

Benny:and this

Benny:I have to calculate map myself

Benny:it doesn't even tell me

Benny:that's fine

Benny:well I'm making sure it's

Gamemaster:I believe in you.

Benny:I'm making sure it's 10, because what is it?

Gamemaster:is what agile

Johnny:That does not hit.

Benny:Is it agile?

Benny:Agile is 8.

Gamemaster:yeah if it were agile

Gamemaster:it'd be 8

Gamemaster:I don't know what you're doing

Gamemaster:so I don't know if it's agile

Gamemaster:no

Benny:Yeah, I wanted it to tell me, but it's not agile.

Benny:So it is 22 for the attack.

Benny:Unfortunate.

Johnny:You hold him, but he's just kind of partially smoke,

Johnny:and also he's a lion, so he's clawing at you

Johnny:and can't get a good grip on him.

Benny:Sure.

Benny:that's all my actions

Benny:nice

Johnny:Next up is Jaskar. He is grappled, but he wants to get out of there.

Johnny:He'll make a DC 5 flat check for a manipulate action.

Johnny:Which, he got a crit on, great.

Johnny:He will use Smoke Slip in an office of smoke.

Johnny:He disappears from your grasp and reappears.

Johnny:He has to reappear adjacent to one of his allies.

Johnny:How far is this?

Johnny:Okay.

Johnny:He disappears and reappears.

Johnny:That's the furthest he can go.

Johnny:And he would go over here.

Johnny:He reappears right there.

Johnny:That is one action.

Johnny:second action

Johnny:and He going to cast slow

Gamemaster:you He dies

Argyle:you Any and Brian

Gamemaster:Oh.

Gamemaster:On himself.

Johnny:He's going to cast slow on...

Johnny:Who is it worse?

Johnny:all of you do so many actions

Gamemaster:Was it?

Argyle:he can get on two people if he goes in the top

Gamemaster:Hehehehe.

Johnny:he's going to do it on

Gamemaster:I take the normal amount of actions. How dare you.

Johnny:no I think

Argyle:unless he really hates Hades

Johnny:I think it's just a single target at this level

Johnny:unless I miss a spell

Johnny:So I don't think it's an area like in 5e.

Argyle:uh

Argyle:I see

Argyle:I'm going to see.

Johnny:Yeah, it's just one target.

Gamemaster:Fair.

Johnny:I'm gonna roll a d4.

Johnny:Even, it's Hades.

Johnny:Odd, it's Fuelton.

Johnny:That's even, he rolls it on Hades.

Argyle:Oh.

Johnny:Hades making a fort save.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:Portport port port port port.

Johnny:That is a failure.

Argyle:OK.

Argyle:19.

Argyle:Yes, yes, yes.

Johnny:You are...

Johnny:You are slowed one for one minute.

Johnny:But that is Jaskar's turn.

Johnny:Hades, it is you.

Argyle:I will this guy can

Argyle:Well, he ruined my turn by taking an action.

Argyle:So instead, I'm going to have this...

Argyle:Oh no, I'm dazzled and slowed.

Argyle:Okay, so in that case, I'm not making attack rolls.

Johnny:Yeah.

Argyle:Can you make a token right here?

Argyle:Just for no reason.

Johnny:Yeah.

Argyle:A token there, and then a token there.

Johnny:Yeah.

Johnny:Yeah, no worries.

Argyle:All right, so I'm going to create Thrall.

Argyle:That's fair.

Argyle:And then in this lower one, Necrotic Bomb.

Johnny:Cool. That's a reflex save, you said?

Argyle:So, Fort save.

Johnny:Is he any better at those?

Argyle:Oh, he crit.

Argyle:All right.

Argyle:well everyone else still needs to make it

Argyle:because it's an area of effect

Johnny:Oh, oh right these two oh that's so nasty

Johnny:Those two guys are

Johnny:Thanks, what are their forts?

Johnny:Okay, this is for the air swarm

Johnny:The air swarm got it and then this is the ground swarm ground storm got a 24 they both fail

Argyle:fail

Argyle:they both take 39

Argyle:points of damage

Argyle:and that's before obviously any of the

Johnny:39.

Argyle:vulnerabilities

Gamemaster:.

Argyle:Yeah, 35, 35.

Johnny:It doesn't matter. There's a cartoon.

Johnny:And all the birds fall to the ground and there are these perfectly laid out plates of roasted chicken where they all were.

Argyle:You see.

Argyle:That's what you thought would happen.

Johnny:Oh.

Argyle:But one of the birds, the air ones, they fall to the ground and the Hades goes, you're not done yet.

Argyle:and he casts Inevitable Return

Gamemaster:They're regular thrills, but they're the size of the thing that you resurrected.

Johnny:Okay, this big guy is the birds.

Argyle:with his reaction

Argyle:and then the undead birds

Argyle:come back up.

Argyle:They're just regular thralls, but...

Johnny:Oh.

Johnny:Big swarm of birds.

Johnny:Okay, cool.

Argyle:and that other one you can get rid of that other one

Gamemaster:Because it blew up.

Johnny:Yikes.

Argyle:it's gone

Johnny:Okay.

Argyle:it got bombed

Argyle:sorry I moved this I made a mistake

Argyle:I don't know how

Argyle:yeah

Johnny:Okay.

Argyle:it's Hades' turn

Johnny:Next up is the one remaining ground asset swarm.

Johnny:It's going to do a stampede charge to try and get rid of some of these bombs.

Argyle:yeah

Argyle:bombs

Gamemaster:Spirit bombs.

Johnny:Jeez.

Johnny:He'll go straight.

Johnny:Oof.

Argyle:they're not bombs they're spirits

Argyle:hehehehe

Johnny:He can't go that way, because then it'll hit the, wow,

Johnny:this is a real situation here.

Argyle:hehehehe

Argyle:just guards very fitting it very fitting very fitting

Johnny:I think the only place it can go,

Johnny:it going to have to go through Jeskar Wow This is yeah it going to go through these guys and end up on top of Fuelton

Gamemaster:you I

Johnny:So

Johnny:these guys all

Argyle:This you can disappear.

Johnny:disappear, I think.

Johnny:Oh, it just misses that one.

Johnny:Okay, so Fuelton and Jaskar both have to make

Johnny:reflex saves.

Gamemaster:reflexive shield.

Gamemaster:I got a 34.

Johnny:Jaskar.

Johnny:What is it? Reflex. Oh, he's reflexy. He's a Dex-y lion.

Johnny:Jaskar crits. Okay, well, that's...

Gamemaster:Good for Jaskar.

Johnny:34 may also be a crit. Hang on.

Gamemaster:Sick.

Johnny:34 is also a crit, so no one takes any damage.

Johnny:That's two actions. For its last action,

Johnny:it is just going to try and maul you

Gamemaster:It does.

Johnny:in the space that you are in,

Johnny:since you are in the space.

Johnny:This is a 31 hit.

Johnny:And you take...

Johnny:You take nine...

Johnny:Wow, that's a bad roll.

Johnny:Nine points of slashing damage

Gamemaster:maybe silly question

Johnny:and are off guard

Johnny:until the start of your next turn.

Gamemaster:does the off guard require doing damage

Gamemaster:to me or just on hit

Gamemaster:because my shields

Johnny:It requires doing damage to you.

Gamemaster:my shields hardness is 10

Gamemaster:10

Gamemaster:I surrounded by animals I going to attempt to attack the animals that are surrounding me What is my two 17 Is it a 36

Johnny:You are not off guard.

Johnny:You are just surrounded by animals.

Johnny:That is the swarm's turn.

Johnny:It's back up to Fuelton,

Johnny:who is surrounded by animals

Johnny:You say 36?

Gamemaster:I said a 36.

Johnny:That's a crit.

Gamemaster:Sick.

Gamemaster:That's gonna be 32 points of slashing damage.

Johnny:Wow.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Johnny:Uh, they had...

Johnny:Oh, oh no, because they're resistant.

Johnny:Uh, okay.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Johnny:They are still up!

Gamemaster:And 1d6 times 2 bleed.

Johnny:They are...

Johnny:Okay, roll for second attack.

Gamemaster:And then I guess I'll use my second attack to attack again.

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely. Oh wait, actually, I'm so sorry.

Johnny:Okay.

Gamemaster:What's the specialization effect on a Bastard Sword?

Gamemaster:It's off-guard to me.

Johnny:Okay.

Gamemaster:I'm gonna make my second attack with Matt.

Gamemaster:Way worse, 16.

Johnny:That does not hit.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:For my third action, I will use Gather to Me.

Gamemaster:Any of my allies, regardless of whether or not they're within 30 feet of me,

Gamemaster:can use a reaction, except for Runway Brian, he can just do this for free,

Gamemaster:to stride, so long as they end their stride within 30 feet of me.

Gamemaster:So, do with that as you will.

Benny:I can get to Jeskar it okay

Gamemaster:I sorry that as far as I could move you in this turn

Argyle:you the thrall moves the thrall moves

Johnny:you fuel tent anything else you want to do

Argyle:you know what i was thinking about if this this character a necromancer would be so sick with

Gamemaster:Yeah, that's all three of my actions.

Argyle:Johnny when he could make

Benny:Brian

Johnny:That would be disgusting.

Argyle:vulnerabilities?

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:Okay, next up is Brian.

Benny:Brian wants a second shot

Benny:at Jeskar

Benny:so Brian will step towards

Benny:Jeskar

Benny:and do flurry of blows.

Gamemaster:Bam, bam, bam.

Johnny:Oh, ma'am.

Benny:21.

Johnny:21 misses.

Benny:21.

Benny:31.

Johnny:31 hits.

Benny:1D, actually, 2D, 8, plus 1D, 6, plus 6.

Johnny:Jaskar is still up.

Benny:Yeah.

Benny:16 damage to Jeskar.

Benny:What can I do?

Johnny:He's looking a little bit up, but not too bad.

Benny:Oh, I will do something I haven't done yet.

Benny:I will use, where is it?

Johnny:Next up is Jaskar.

Benny:Stony deflection.

Benny:So I'll gain a plus two circumstance bonus to AC

Benny:in any defenses against being shoved or tripped.

Benny:That's my turn.

Johnny:Yeah.

Johnny:What is the range on the spell?

Johnny:Oh, you guys are perfect.

Johnny:Okay.

Johnny:Um, Jaskar is going to...

Johnny:Once again, he's going to smoke slip, so...

Johnny:He's going to teleport to right here.

Johnny:Because he has to be adjacent to...

Johnny:He has to be adjacent to one of his allies.

Johnny:Then...

Johnny:Let me make sure I did this right.

Johnny:He...

Johnny:He will cast...

Johnny:With friends like these!

Johnny:Um...

Johnny:So...

Johnny:I need Fuelton and Runway Brian to both make...

Johnny:What is the save on this?

Gamemaster:Um...

Johnny:Will saves.

Gamemaster:Is this a mental effect?

Johnny:This is a mental...

Johnny:This is concentrate, emotion, manipulate, mental.

Gamemaster:Is this a mental effect to influence my actions?

Johnny:Um not directly Yeah Correctly Yeah

Gamemaster:Darn We see if you said

Benny:23 for Brian

Johnny:23 is a failure.

Gamemaster:Worse.

Gamemaster:20.

Johnny:Excellent.

Johnny:You are both sickened two.

Johnny:while sickened this way,

Gamemaster:Ew.

Johnny:you don't treat any other target of the spell

Johnny:as an ally.

Gamemaster:Oh, that's unfortunate.

Johnny:This is a real spell.

Gamemaster:That's crazy.

Johnny:It's a...

Johnny:It's a cool spell.

Gamemaster:Yeah, that's wild.

Johnny:I feel like it's better if you're

Johnny:the DM than a player.

Johnny:but that is Jaskar's turn

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Johnny:next up is Hades

Johnny:oh you're no longer dazzled by the way

Gamemaster:Yes.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:Hades is going to...

Argyle:Do I want to do...

Johnny:that was still a thing

Argyle:Great.

Argyle:Great, great, great, great, great, great.

Argyle:They changed the refocusing rules so you can just refocus every 10 minutes, right?

Johnny:Yes.

Argyle:Before it used to be only one.

Argyle:All right, cool.

Argyle:So I still got two more focus points I can just ban.

Gamemaster:I feel like...

Argyle:I'm going to...

Argyle:Sorry, let me just measure something.

Argyle:That is 30 feet.

Argyle:Cool.

Argyle:Can you make some more tokens for me?

Argyle:One there, one there.

Johnny:Yeah I just gonna there a bunch of tokens over here Feel free to drag these guys over Jorge I think I made two already for everyone you want

Argyle:Just like all three around him.

Gamemaster:I feel like Noah you should just make a bunch of tokens off to the side and let him drag them in when he spawns them in

Argyle:Cool cool cool cool cool yeah so just right there um that was one action i still slowed right

Johnny:Yeah, you slow for one minute.

Argyle:uh that's fine i am going to

Gamemaster:Ouch.

Argyle:to sorry that will go there I will make this one sorry to make you edit it can you make

Benny:that only works if someone doesn't try to confuse everyone by also using a laser pointer

Gamemaster:you can use the laser pointer Jorge uh instead of like moving the tokens around

Johnny:Which one?

Argyle:this one a little bit bigger

Argyle:this one just make any of them bigger and I'll swap it sorry

Johnny:There's two laser pointers.

Benny:this one this one

Johnny:Neither of them are looking at tokens.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:yeah yeah can you make can you make this one a little bigger

Gamemaster:that's reasonable

Benny:Hey, can you make this?

Johnny:I'm just going to make one of them bigger and Jorge can move it around as he wants.

Gamemaster:how do I choose my color

Argyle:Oh, wait.

Argyle:I read this wrong.

Argyle:OK, so what I'm going to do is I'm going to move this guy back.

Argyle:I actually didn't need to summon thralls.

Argyle:Crate thrall creates a new one for the Humunculus.

Argyle:It doesn't upgrade one.

Argyle:so i'm going to create one down here and then command it to move up here

Gamemaster:that's my thing

Argyle:and uh it now can make two different weapon attacks

Johnny:I'll be working command things.

Argyle:map happens at the end so i'm gonna make one against just scar and then one against the other

Benny:I make a dick fast enough that it stays That was close

Argyle:I think.

Argyle:You can make .

Johnny:Jeez.

Johnny:Okay.

Argyle:Yes, it's d20 plus 16.

Argyle:That's Jiscar.

Argyle:This is the other one 34 Yeah yeah

Gamemaster:No That was close actually Sorry

Johnny:Jorge is it these two

Johnny:Is it those two that were both over 30?

Argyle:So there's a 31 and 34.

Argyle:The 31 went to Jaskara.

Johnny:They both hit.

Johnny:Neither were crits, but they both hit.

Argyle:Okay.

Argyle:The big swarm's immune to grab, right?

Argyle:so only just scar because both of the

Johnny:Yeah.

Johnny:Yeah, for sure.

Argyle:attacks actually trigger he just got

Argyle:needs to make a fortitude saving throw

Argyle:or be restrained

Argyle:I just sorry grabbed criticals

Johnny:For sure.

Johnny:He can definitely do that.

Argyle:restrained

Argyle:Okay, so that passes.

Johnny:That's definitely something he can do.

Johnny:28.

Johnny:Very slippery line man genie.

Argyle:He's not grabbed out of 26.

Gamemaster:Excuse me.

Argyle:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Argyle:He will still need to take 46 plus 4.

Argyle:21 points of damage.

Argyle:And the other guy also will be taking...

Johnny:the other guy

Argyle:Sorry, I moved this in.

Argyle:The other guy takes 18.

Gamemaster:You can't keep getting away with it.

Johnny:they all just go and their eyes turn into X's

Johnny:and they fall down dead

Johnny:just start

Argyle:And then they come right back up when Brady raises his hand!

Johnny:There's still...

Argyle:And he comes back up!

Argyle:that's all my actions because I'm slowed

Gamemaster:Man, they're on me.

Johnny:Jaskar is not looking great.

Johnny:That's the swarm.

Johnny:That's all the swarms gone.

Gamemaster:That's unfortunate.

Argyle:I feel like that actually affects

Johnny:Next up is Fuelton.

Johnny:Fuelton, you're sickened, and you don't treat Brian like an ally.

Gamemaster:I'm gonna...

Gamemaster:I'm gonna step...

Argyle:him more than normal people,

Argyle:because, like,

Argyle:just because Browlant is an ally,

Gamemaster:All of my stuff is for allies.

Argyle:yeah, yeah,

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Argyle:you're not going to necessarily attack him

Gamemaster:I'm gonna...

Argyle:even though he's further,

Argyle:but you won't help him.

Gamemaster:No.

Gamemaster:The spell doesn't specify that we're enemies.

Gamemaster:It just says that we're not allies, so I can't use any of my stuff on him.

Argyle:Yeah, yeah.

Johnny:All right.

Gamemaster:I'm going to attempt to Wretch on Jaskar.

Johnny:Okay.

Johnny:Roll a rest check.

Gamemaster:Which is a fort save against the DC of the thing that made me sick.

Johnny:Yes, it is a D25.

Johnny:She's kind of standing over there going

Gamemaster:Well, I got a 20, so I can't even Wretch properly.

Gamemaster:I strike.

Argyle:Hmm.

Johnny:And he looks at you and goes

Johnny:Hairball

Johnny:Attack the lion

Argyle:Hmm.

Gamemaster:Um,

Gamemaster:I attack him.

Gamemaster:Uh, I attack him

Gamemaster:specifically, this is gonna be the thing

Gamemaster:that I can do that lets me, a combat

Gamemaster:assessment. So I'm gonna, I'm gonna

Gamemaster:make an attack on him.

Gamemaster:Um,

Johnny:That does hit.

Gamemaster:um,

Gamemaster:33.

Gamemaster:sick

Johnny:Oof.

Johnny:He's still up, but he's not looking great.

Gamemaster:because I am

Gamemaster:he's going to take

Gamemaster:17 points

Gamemaster:of slashing damage

Gamemaster:and he has d6 persistent bleed

Gamemaster:and that my third action so we done Oh yeah that was You totally right

Johnny:Was that a combat assessment

Gamemaster:I would like to recall some knowledge on this man.

Johnny:Yes, I will say this can be arcana, occultism, or religion.

Johnny:Either one.

Gamemaster:Oh.

Gamemaster:I'm gonna do

Gamemaster:my highest mod

Johnny:Uh...

Gamemaster:is Arcana

Gamemaster:so we'll try that

Gamemaster:does the 22 get me anything?

Gamemaster:I rolled really well

Gamemaster:I have a plus 3

Johnny:Uh...

Johnny:Yeah, that'll get you, like, one thing.

Johnny:What is...

Johnny:You can get one, like, resistance, one immunity, one stat thing.

Gamemaster:okay

Gamemaster:Uh, yeah, give me a resistance.

Benny:Ryan.

Argyle:Fuck you.

Johnny:He has no resistances.

Argyle:Fuck you.

Johnny:He's resistant to nothing.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Good to know.

Argyle:You will get nothing

Argyle:like it.

Gamemaster:I don't like it.

Gamemaster:It's someone else's turn.

Johnny:Next up is Brian.

Benny:Ryan.

Johnny:Exactly.

Benny:Can Brian occupy the space of his allies?

Benny:I think so.

Benny:Brian would like to kill, but he has to hit first.

Benny:So what's my expertise?

Benny:I'm an expert master legendary.

Benny:So it's a six.

Benny:I'm going to go with a mythic point.

Benny:there a 39 hit yes it is simple we kill the jaskar

Johnny:39 is a crit

Benny:times 2d8 plus 6 plus 1d6

Benny:42 points of damage.

Johnny:How would you like to do this?

Benny:Yes!

Benny:Runway Brian would like to walk up,

Johnny:He goes,

Benny:punch through Jaskar's chest,

Benny:having smoke erupt around it,

Benny:bolts of lightning coming off of his hand,

Benny:and as he pulls his hand out,

Benny:and Jaskar falls to the floor,

Benny:Brian will go,

Benny:Mirror!

Johnny:The rats took it!

Johnny:as he turns into smoke and

Johnny:almost like gets slurped up into something

Argyle:as he's...

Johnny:in one of the corners.

Johnny:Sort of up behind

Johnny:mine right there.

Argyle:You would think that would happen.

Argyle:But Hades goes, you're not done yet!

Argyle:And turns him into a thrall!

Argyle:Ha ha ha ha!

Johnny:Due to the nature of Jaskar being a genie,

Argyle:Ha ha ha ha!

Johnny:when he is defeated, he returns to his

Johnny:lamp.

Johnny:He was technically unkillable,

Johnny:but he is now in his lamp.

Johnny:this is an insane thing

Benny:Rats.

Argyle:Ha ha ha ha!

Johnny:but the smoke kind of trails off towards something up here

Gamemaster:True.

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:as he yells the rats took it

Johnny:and then he the rats took it and he gets shlurped back up

Johnny:but you have defeated the assets and jess car

Argyle:Mice.

Gamemaster:Why don't you do a rat?

Gamemaster:You a cat You say so

Benny:Mouse.

Argyle:It's a mouse.

Benny:Cat.

Benny:Technically.

Argyle:Well well I gonna take some rest

Benny:Technically Long story technically long story

Argyle:and I'm gonna

Argyle:destroy all my thralls and start

Argyle:regaining focus points

Argyle:again I can also

Argyle:heal people if they'd like

Argyle:yeah

Gamemaster:oh i can also heal i don't i should probably heal um

Gamemaster:I'm gonna

Argyle:let me get a medicine check for myself

Gamemaster:I'm gonna

Gamemaster:you don't even need to bother

Argyle:no no but I would like to do this

Gamemaster:I can just heal you

Gamemaster:okay

Gamemaster:fine you do it

Argyle:uh

Argyle:deceit

Gamemaster:okay so

Argyle:alright I crit so I get a mythic point back

Gamemaster:oh that's fun

Argyle:alright now you can heal me

Argyle:I'm a caretaker

Gamemaster:great

Gamemaster:um

Argyle:mythic calling

Gamemaster:gotcha

Argyle:you just multiple times

Gamemaster:sure

Gamemaster:I'm finding the thing that actually lets me

Benny:I have to make the roll.

Gamemaster:do this

Gamemaster:rallying banner

Gamemaster:okay you all

Gamemaster:restore

Gamemaster:4d6 hit points

Gamemaster:I can

Gamemaster:I'll make the roll

Gamemaster:I'm sorry but I have to make the roll

Argyle:Can you do this multiple times?

Gamemaster:what

Gamemaster:every 10 minutes

Argyle:Great.

Argyle:So I don't need to heal myself.

Gamemaster:Uh, yeah.

Argyle:I am not on debt

Gamemaster:Um, I can do that every ten minutes.

Johnny:you just feel really looking at it

Gamemaster:Uh, so I guess we could just stay until that happens.

Gamemaster:Uh, I would also like to note, I don't actually know if it's relevant for you as Hades,

Gamemaster:but this is not vitality.

Gamemaster:Uh, this is you're looking at my banner,

Gamemaster:and it just increases your morale so much that your wounds stitch themselves back together.

Gamemaster:It's like, okay.

Argyle:so don't worry but yeah thank you

Gamemaster:It is inherently not magical, though, which is really weird.

Argyle:awesome

Gamemaster:but yeah

Argyle:Ha ha ha!

Gamemaster:yeah it is

Benny:That's crazy.

Johnny:.

Gamemaster:technically a mental effect

Gamemaster:but

Gamemaster:So yeah.

Argyle:Cool, cool.

Johnny:all right uh you guys are in you guys heal up repocus um and you are

Gamemaster:So we heal up.

Johnny:just in the elven graveyard of wonders now

Gamemaster:We have to find some rats.

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:you know just carl

Gamemaster:I guess that does make sense.

Gamemaster:Rats are the natural enemy of elephants.

Gamemaster:So...

Gamemaster:That would explain why this is an elephant graveyard.

Gamemaster:This all makes sense now. I was afraid that this was nonsensical for a little bit, but it does actually make sense.

Gamemaster:I'm happy about that.

Gamemaster:I go back to picking up one of the elephant tusks.

Gamemaster:Because I went to do that before he started yelling at us, and I wanted to do that.

Argyle:as you guys can see this is what happens when a mortal

Johnny:Yep, you pick them up and tusk.

Gamemaster:Great. It's part of my backstory that I lie about how cool I am, and so I'm going to use this to lie about how cool I am and say that I killed an elephant, because I think that's cool.

Argyle:tries to fight a god

Argyle:he's immortal

Gamemaster:He's not a mortal. Sorry, he's not a space mortal. He is immortal. He's not. You didn't kill him. He's still alive.

Argyle:he's mortal to me

Argyle:okay

Johnny:It's up in this pile of treasure, if you guys are told, in the shmepi, sort of at the back

Argyle:I'm gonna go find his

Gamemaster:We all watched him go back into the lamp.

Argyle:I'm gonna go

Argyle:where is his

Argyle:where is his genie lamp

Argyle:I'm gonna walk over there

Johnny:of where he was.

Johnny:All right.

Johnny:Make a – you see his lamp, obviously, because you saw it just go straight back to there.

Johnny:Make a perception check as you are walking around.

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:You see his lamp

Gamemaster:you Do you have to summon three every time

Argyle:That all right I got to fumble take the hero summon a thrall to pick it up

Argyle:well actually I summoned one thrall

Johnny:Thrall picks it up.

Argyle:and then two other guys are next to him

Argyle:and then the one picks it up

Argyle:no

Gamemaster:Could you choose to not?

Argyle:yeah I want to

Benny:He summons somebody that's gone back to the beginning.

Gamemaster:okay

Johnny:There's just so many guys in togas running around here.

Argyle:yeah

Johnny:A couple of them started a Socratic seminar over in the corner.

Benny:Like, look, I'm back.

Benny:Wait, wait.

Benny:No, I don't want to.

Benny:And then he just blows.

Johnny:It looped around.

Johnny:There's one guy in the corner who found a chalkboard.

Johnny:It looks like he's inventing algebra.

Argyle:yeah

Johnny:Actually, no, I think that was Eric.

Argyle:They rub it.

Gamemaster:so

Gamemaster:What year does this take place in, like thematically? Is it modern day?

Johnny:That was the wrong empire.

Johnny:Outside of this, it's modern day.

Gamemaster:Yeah, outside. Outside. Okay, yeah.

Johnny:It's modern day.

Gamemaster:No, inside I know it's a mishmash of different IPs. I meant outside.

Johnny:Yeah, outside is modern day.

Johnny:Inside, it's current year.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Johnny:The thralls pick up the lamp.

Johnny:The thralls rub the lamp.

Argyle:yeah

Gamemaster:You can give the thralls wishes?

Johnny:No!

Argyle:well I can command them as we've discussed

Gamemaster:That's true, you can't do that.

Argyle:I have unlimited wishes

Gamemaster:You haven't looted witches.

Argyle:I get three wishes correct

Johnny:Friendlike me starts playing and Jeskar comes out.

Johnny:Erupts out.

Johnny:What?

Johnny:You already humiliated me.

Gamemaster:We're in a computer, right?

Johnny:Yeah here the rules I walk through the rules No wishing for more wishes No wishing for stuff blah blah blah

Gamemaster:What data type is the wishes out stored in?

Gamemaster:No, I'm joking.

Gamemaster:That's not something we would know.

Gamemaster:I want an underflow.

Johnny:All of your noses begin to bleed.

Gamemaster:yeah I don't know

Johnny:Your noses all begin to bleed.

Johnny:Your eyes begin to bleed.

Argyle:I would like

Johnny:I agree.

Gamemaster:they're not my wishes

Gamemaster:what are you gonna wish for

Gamemaster:you seem like you could wish

Argyle:yeah I'm thinking of having my

Gamemaster:for a lot of stuff

Gamemaster:I think you should wish

Argyle:my innate godly ability to teleport

Argyle:again

Argyle:I

Gamemaster:for a hat

Gamemaster:like one that's fireproof

Gamemaster:cause

Johnny:That's a good wish.

Gamemaster:yeah

Argyle:I

Argyle:and then

Argyle:Hades voice comes out of the thrall

Gamemaster:It's for Hades.

Argyle:I wish for him to have

Argyle:a hat that doesn't get

Argyle:burns on his head

Johnny:Gaston you now have

Argyle:no no no no that's right

Johnny:you now have

Johnny:oh it's for hate

Gamemaster:It's not for me.

Johnny:I thought you were pointing at Fuelton

Johnny:okay you just say

Gamemaster:No, I can wear hats.

Johnny:okay

Argyle:it's more of a he wants like a laurel

Gamemaster:I have normal hair.

Johnny:my bad

Johnny:do you say just a hat

Gamemaster:Oh, is this a monkey's paw genie?

Argyle:type of thing very greek very greek

Johnny:what is your wording here

Argyle:Yeah, I want some hat-like laurel thing that's fireproof for me.

Johnny:That was the other guy.

Gamemaster:That's not how it works in Aladdin.

Johnny:You get so many laurels on your head that your head hurts a little bit.

Argyle:That's fine.

Gamemaster:That was my wish I wished for you to have a fireproof hat

Johnny:But they're all kind of interlocked.

Johnny:So it's one hat, but there's so many of them, it kind of hurts.

Argyle:That's fine.

Argyle:Okay what wishes do you guys want Oh What would you like

Benny:Mirror mirror mirror

Argyle:Mirror?

Argyle:You want the mirror?

Argyle:Alright, how do you want to word this?

Benny:mirror

Argyle:Emerald's mouth opens and it's like,

Gamemaster:That doesn't...

Benny:mirror

Gamemaster:That doesn't seem like it's gonna work.

Argyle:MIRROR!

Argyle:all right all right all right he would like the mirror that we're going after

Johnny:You just say the word mirror?

Gamemaster:That's not even a wish.

Gamemaster:Surely you have to proceed it with, I wish.

Johnny:You have to say, I wish.

Johnny:It's the rules.

Johnny:uh

Argyle:uh i this thrall wish that the master is presented with a mirror

Argyle:D mirror

Gamemaster:A mirror?

Johnny:uh jess gar begins to wave his hands uh and there's like odd fizzle and he goes

Benny:All right.

Argyle:D mirror

Argyle:Yeah, first time

Johnny:someone's kind of wrong here i can't bring the mirror to you i think the best i can do is bring

Johnny:you to the mirror.

Argyle:First time, huh?

Argyle:You know what? No, no

Argyle:I want to use the last wish to give me my teleportation powers back

Argyle:and then I'll bring us to the mirror.

Johnny:You still only have two wishes because I couldn't

Johnny:do the second wish.

Johnny:You technically have two wishes.

Argyle:Well, I guess I'll take that.

Argyle:Yeah, for us to have my teleportation powers back

Argyle:so I can bring us to the mirror.

Johnny:Okay.

Argyle:And then I guess the last wish should be where the mirror is.

Johnny:You can stop.

Argyle:Is that a good idea?

Johnny:Okay.

Argyle:What do you guys think about that?

Argyle:Yeah, yeah, let's do that.

Argyle:Yeah, we're going to do those two wishes.

Argyle:wait what

Gamemaster:Well, no, sorry, this is just a lore question.

Gamemaster:Can Hades teleport?

Argyle:gods can

Gamemaster:Like, you keep saying, like, my godly powers that I can teleport.

Argyle:no he can teleport

Gamemaster:It's like a very important part of the Hades myth that he's stuck in Hades.

Argyle:he can

Gamemaster:I don't think, like, it's fine.

Gamemaster:It just occurred to me that you keep being like, I'm Hades.

Argyle:he can

Argyle:no no

Gamemaster:Why can't I use my divine teleportation?

Gamemaster:And I just don't think that's a thing that Hades could do normally.

Argyle:so one

Argyle:one how does he make it to mount olympus when he needs to

Gamemaster:He can't.

Argyle:sometimes he can he just can't stay two how did he take uh persephone huh

Gamemaster:Like, that's a big part of Hades, is that he can't go to Mount Olympus.

Gamemaster:No!

Gamemaster:Persephone came down to Hades.

Gamemaster:Once again, a big part of Hades' mythology is that he's stuck in Hades.

Argyle:no he swallowed her out of the earth

Argyle:Disney's Hercules

Gamemaster:No, he didn't.

Gamemaster:I don't know why we're quibbling over this

Johnny:No one cast the power word kill at Gaston.

Gamemaster:I just thought, it just occurred to me

Gamemaster:I just think it's very funny

Gamemaster:Kistan famously

Gamemaster:knows power word kill

Gamemaster:Why can't I power word kill?

Johnny:Okay.

Argyle:80s teleports

Argyle:I googled it

Gamemaster:When?

Argyle:in the movie puffs of smoke

Gamemaster:When?

Argyle:would you tell are you telling me ai overviews lying to me i don't know about that

Gamemaster:I don't think that's true.

Johnny:Thank you with Guys we all played Hades

Gamemaster:Yes.

Argyle:he not supposed to go up there god like to send messengers how do you think he makes it to the top You think he runs there It fine

Gamemaster:It's been a little bit since I watched the movie, but I'm like 99% sure that he can't,

Gamemaster:because the whole point is he sends, uh, he sends Payne up to grab Hercules as a baby.

Gamemaster:Okay You played Hades You know the rules about this

Johnny:We know that Jorge should also have the spear.

Gamemaster:Yes! Exactly!

Argyle:Apparently he

Argyle:constantly

Argyle:teleports in

Argyle:puffs of black smoke

Argyle:and reappears somewhere.

Johnny:Just...

Johnny:Anyway.

Johnny:All right, do you guys want your wishes or not?

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:uh now where are they

Johnny:Okay, he snaps his hands.

Johnny:You can cast teleport at 9th level.

Johnny:Congrats.

Argyle:um you want to take us there you want to just take us there

Johnny:He raises a hand.

Johnny:Oh, sure.

Johnny:You see a piece of paper in the corner that was moving just kind of fall back down.

Johnny:Alright, I'll just take you guys directly there.

Argyle:yeah

Johnny:He snaps.

Argyle:oh

Johnny:Skips a couple of things.

Johnny:Go to the next shmepy.

Benny:New Shmup, New Shmup

Johnny:Let me pull up the new shmep.

Johnny:You guys disappear, and for a second there's this blip,

Johnny:as you feel as though the movie kind of cuts,

Johnny:and you've skipped a whole lot of things,

Johnny:and you appear on what looks like

Johnny:some sort of set or soundstage,

Johnny:which is very bright and colorful,

Johnny:except that parts of the floor where you see this sort of sun and clouds pattern has fallen away,

Johnny:and there is just this Black and White animated abyss where you see terrifying eldritch entities of animation moving about.

Johnny:There is also something else there, but I will let you guys see what else is there.

Argyle:Thank you That a crazy image

Johnny:Here is the other shmepi

Gamemaster:Second Schmeppi has hit the session Oh gosh this is fun

Johnny:Oh, we're good.

Gamemaster:This is a lot of fun.

Gamemaster:Understandable.

Johnny:Jaskar, you guys, poof, Jaskar does not come with you.

Gamemaster:Understandable.

Johnny:And you see in the center of this soundstage is this terrifying amalgamation with five heads.

Argyle:Oh.

Johnny:On one is this beautiful woman with icy white hair covered in frost.

Johnny:Another is a balding man with a helmet on wearing some sort of astronaut's outfit and a laser.

Johnny:There is a mouse which looks oddly like Brian, but in a hat with stars on it.

Johnny:There's a...

Johnny:It just kind of looks like a beautiful woman to you, because you can't see her lower half. She has red hair.

Argyle:Oh.

Johnny:And then a young woman with very long blonde hair.

Johnny:Off in the the far corner, you see a...

Johnny:almost behind

Johnny:this curtain at the end, you see a faint glint, which you think may be the mirror,

Johnny:but this legally distinct nostalgia hydra is blocking the way.

Johnny:and as you all enter, all of the heads turn towards you

Johnny:and in unison they say,

Johnny:what do you want, want, want, want, want, what do you want?

Argyle:first of all, I'm happily married.

Argyle:So please, don't try that.

Johnny:The heads kind of look at each other.

Argyle:We're, uh...

Argyle:I look at my goops. Are you guys charismatic?

Argyle:We were looking for the mirror!

Johnny:It's mine.

Argyle:We were sent here to retrieve the mirror by someone who I have forgotten.

Johnny:Mine mine mine mine mine mine mine You saw kind of a glint in the back by that this curtain back there but you have to either go all the way around or get past the Hydra

Argyle:Do I see the mirror

Argyle:Are you guys by any chance dead?

Argyle:I look at my two buddies

Johnny:We're very much alive.

Benny:fuck

Gamemaster:Yeah, let's get closer to talk to them.

Johnny:Do you wink?

Argyle:you guys want to go talk to them more closely

Argyle:alright so

Gamemaster:Wink.

Johnny:Do you wink?

Argyle:we're going to come over to talk

Gamemaster:No, I don't. I say out loud, wink.

Argyle:do they let

Johnny:Okay.

Argyle:do they let my compatriots get any closer

Argyle:I'm gonna be behind them but I will be also moving up

Gamemaster:Fine.

Johnny:Um, and what does this guy's reach?

Argyle:laughing

Johnny:They would let you get up to one sec.

Johnny:This is stop moving.

Argyle:laughing

Johnny:They will.

Johnny:They will let you get to stop.

Argyle:laughing

Johnny:Right here.

Argyle:laughing

Argyle:Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Johnny:For the nostalgia Hydra.

Gamemaster:I just wanted to get closer

Johnny:Says stop.

Argyle:My friends are just going to come talk.

Gamemaster:I couldn't hear you from back there

Benny:Long rest.

Johnny:Don't insult me. Don't insult the soundstage. This is where the magic happens.

Gamemaster:you're so far away on this big soundstage

Gamemaster:the acoustics in here are

Gamemaster:terrible

Gamemaster:what magic

Gamemaster:you've got holes in your soundstage

Johnny:This is where...

Argyle:um

Johnny:This is the heart of all magic.

Johnny:And as you look around,

Johnny:you see the soundstage begin to flicker in points.

Johnny:And in one spot, you see this beautifully animated Sarah

Argyle:Very progressive.

Johnny:and you see this sort of L-shaped rock where a baboon or a mandrill is holding up this lion baby.

Johnny:And in another, you see ancient China where a woman leads a group of men to War.

Johnny:And in another, you see just what looks like a couple of toys hanging out.

Johnny:And then they kind of flicker.

Johnny:And then up top again, you see what Hades described earlier,

Johnny:where the ceiling vanishes and you see out something else.

Johnny:You see that picture of a cat.

Benny:a bit

Gamemaster:That's fair.

Argyle:runaway brian can read about as much as charlie from always sunny

Johnny:Gaston, I'm gonna say you can only read French, because...

Johnny:Runway Brian, can you read?

Benny:I don't know

Benny:I think runway Brian can technically read

Benny:it's probably

Johnny:Alright.

Johnny:You see, there's words on there, and this cat that's dangling, and you only read the word hang.

Gamemaster:I hear

Argyle:Well, my magic

Johnny:We lost Josh, he's dead.

Johnny:the hydra says

Gamemaster:my cat unplugged

Gamemaster:stuff

Johnny:this is the source of all of our magic

Johnny:all of the wonder

Johnny:all the heads talking kind of saying words

Johnny:all of the wonder of Bisney and Dixar

Argyle:comes from me being a god.

Gamemaster:But then surely you're five characters.

Argyle:So, that's a you problem.

Johnny:all of the heads

Johnny:You are no god. You are just a character.

Gamemaster:...

Johnny:We are five of the most iconic characters.

Gamemaster:...

Argyle:Whoa, whoa.

Gamemaster:...

Argyle:I think there three people who disagree with that and then three men in togas appear in front of them yeah

Johnny:Legally it true though Oh I just though Are these the people who disagree These three random guys This is the vocal minority

Gamemaster:What the Thank you

Argyle:yeah

Johnny:Roll initiative. I'm just going to sum it up. I'm just going to bring a bunch of

Johnny:these guys off into this corner

Johnny:so feel free to move these guys around as you

Gamemaster:I dislike that the Hydra seems to have a total of...

Johnny:would like.

Johnny:The Hydra...

Johnny:What is the Hydra roll?

Gamemaster:seven arms.

Gamemaster:It's just not the right amount of arms.

Johnny:Yeah, I don't know why...

Johnny:It did not give it the full amount of.

Argyle:22.

Benny:Good.

Johnny:Okay.

Gamemaster:Poor Buzz Lightyear has a gun coming out of his chest.

Johnny:Jorge, what did you get?

Gamemaster:Oh shoot, were we all rolling initiative?

Johnny:All right.

Argyle:22.

Gamemaster:I'm so sorry.

Johnny:And Runway Brian, what'd you get?

Argyle:I didn't get the thralls off, right?

Benny:28.

Gamemaster:14.

Johnny:First up is the Legally Distinct Nostalgia Hydra.

Johnny:Jeez, let me pull up this massive step, look.

Johnny:No, you got the girls off.

Argyle:Ah, cool.

Johnny:Yeah.

Johnny:at the start of the turn

Johnny:the heads all sort of pull back and this

Johnny:apprentice mouse looking head

Johnny:leans forward

Johnny:and they all kind of sway as the

Johnny:sparkles glitter on the top of its hat

Benny:I imagine the brooms

Gamemaster:I reflexively raise my shield.

Argyle:Thanks.

Johnny:and from out of nowhere this flood

Johnny:of water, sweeped by a bunch

Johnny:of animate magic brooms, rushes

Johnny:across all three of you

Johnny:all of you need to make a

Johnny:reflex save

Johnny:Those are all failures.

Benny:with the water and the magic

Benny:it's kind of like dynamite

Benny:so shields will block it

Benny:uh wait reflex

Gamemaster:Yeah, that makes sense.

Gamemaster:I rolled really low anyway

Argyle:23.

Gamemaster:so it's fine

Gamemaster:20 flat

Gamemaster:or 20 sharp

Benny:what the fuck is going on

Benny:18

Benny:oh thank god

Johnny:None of them are critical failures, though.

Johnny:So you all take...

Johnny:You take 24 points of bludgeoning damage.

Gamemaster:Ouch.

Johnny:The water sweeps you...

Argyle:Okay.

Johnny:10 feet backwards.

Johnny:And sort of diagonally towards...

Johnny:Feel free to move yourself a little bit.

Johnny:Towards this abyss.

Johnny:That's 2 actions. It moves you away. So can't actually.

Gamemaster:Mmm.

Gamemaster:I keep calling it that.

Johnny:Right.

Benny:Runway Brian takes

Gamemaster:so uh for what it worth Fuel Ton takes

Benny:20 damage Due to his archetype

Johnny:Oh run away Brian Oh Oh

Gamemaster:14 damage

Gamemaster:due to his shield type.

Benny:Brian kills

Benny:Fuelton.

Gamemaster:Don't do that.

Johnny:That's free.

Gamemaster:We're allies.

Johnny:Okay.

Johnny:It's going to use its third action to move away,

Benny:Are we?

Gamemaster:I am injured.

Benny:There was a time in

Benny:last fight when I was like, I don't know. I don't think this guy's

Benny:my ally.

Gamemaster:Yeah, but I got over that.

Gamemaster:It's...

Johnny:because it can also do that.

Gamemaster:Lame.

Johnny:It's going to go 30 feet this way.

Gamemaster:Lame!

Johnny:So it is going to go there.

Gamemaster:That's in the direction of the mirror, right?

Johnny:Just kind of in between these two.

Johnny:Yeah, the mirror, I'll...

Johnny:I'll give a little token for the mirror.

Gamemaster:E.

Johnny:The mirror is this little grey token in the back corner.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:The abysses are abysses, though.

Gamemaster:Mm.

Johnny:So, if you walk on them, you will fall in.

Gamemaster:Good to know.

Johnny:But that is...

Johnny:the Hydra's turn. Next up is Brian.

Benny:Ryan

Benny:how far is this

Benny:Brian will have to use

Benny:more than one move action

Benny:but that's fine because he's Brian

Gamemaster:That's true he is, Brian.

Benny:so Brian will

Benny:can't even stride and step it just has to be straight

Benny:puff in it

Benny:and then Brian will attempt two

Benny:strikes using Fury of Blows

Benny:Ooh

Johnny:Are you striking the body or the heads?

Benny:If I'm striking the heads, do I pick witch head?

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:Yeah, so each head you can strike individually or you can strike the body.

Benny:The mouse that looks like Brian.

Johnny:All right.

Benny:And a 36.

Johnny:36 hits on the apprentice mouse head.

Benny:Six.

Benny:Two D6 plus one D6 plus six.

Benny:20 points of damage.

Gamemaster:Nice.

Johnny:All right.

Johnny:You pop this mouse in the face.

Johnny:As you come away, it's that cartoon thing where you hit it, and then you come back, and the teeth are all like this, and there's gaps, and it looks a little...

Johnny:But the apprentice mouse head is still kicking.

Benny:And then

Benny:this one is agile, so it's a

Johnny:25 does not hit.

Benny:13.

Benny:25.

Gamemaster:Ouch.

Argyle:it is

Johnny:The head kind of wobbles out of the way.

Benny:It's my turn.

Johnny:Next up is Hades.

Argyle:hey we'll move forward

Argyle:ah let me take a look wait sorry just double check something of course okay hades is going

Argyle:to...

Argyle:That's...

Argyle:He's going to use two actions.

Argyle:Sorry.

Argyle:Two actions to move over here.

Johnny:God God God

Argyle:And then generate

Argyle:a token

Argyle:here

Argyle:that big That going to be the the big throw The conglomerate of limbs

Gamemaster:Big throw

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:And that's his turn.

Johnny:Next up is Fuelton.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Fuel 10 is going to move.

Gamemaster:It is 25 feet.

Gamemaster:And then who's in range of this?

Gamemaster:Hades, Brian, and the three thralls next to him.

Gamemaster:He's going to do a demoralizing charge.

Gamemaster:So everybody is allowed to stride.

Gamemaster:Everybody within 30 feet is allowed to stride towards the enemy,

Gamemaster:towards the big guys, if they like, just for free.

Gamemaster:And then they can also spend a reaction to melee attack.

Gamemaster:Brian doesn't have to spend the reaction

Benny:Brian will

Argyle:I'm assuming we can only use one attack

Johnny:Okay, let me know if you guys are attacking the body or the heads.

Gamemaster:he can as a free action do the melee attack

Benny:yeah same mouse head

Argyle:for me. I'm not going to take three attacks, so I'll just have one of my Thrall's attack.

Argyle:I'm going to go for the mouse.

Johnny:Okay.

Johnny:Everyone's going for the mouse head.

Johnny:31 hits

Argyle:Oof.

Benny:I got a 31

Argyle:Nineteen.

Benny:17 points of damage.

Gamemaster:And.

Argyle:Oh!

Johnny:um you

Gamemaster:No, you go.

Johnny:uh you cock back and punch this mouse head straight off the body

Benny:Okay.

Johnny:It kind of rolls away and as the head does you see in its place sort of this weird black bar with white wording there It says remake pending

Benny:Terrifying Terrifying

Gamemaster:The Hydra has to make a will save

Johnny:Yes.

Gamemaster:Oh yeah, well then nothing happens.

Johnny:36

Gamemaster:That's the end of my turn.

Johnny:Right. Anything else, Fuelton?

Johnny:Okay.

Johnny:At the start of its turn...

Johnny:It just still says remake pending. I don't think it took any other damage, so it's...

Johnny:It's still there. So it's missing one head.

Johnny:You guys are...

Johnny:Yeah, it's gonna

Johnny:do a montage of

Johnny:jaws. It has four

Johnny:heads remaining right now, so it can make four

Johnny:attacks on anything within its range.

Johnny:So it's gonna go one for one

Johnny:Runway Brian, one for Hades,

Johnny:and

Johnny:one for

Johnny:the thrall to the left of Runway Brian and one to the thrall behind it.

Benny:Mm-hmm.

Argyle:Okay.

Johnny:So we'll make these attacks.

Argyle:The thrall behind it's the one with

Argyle:appreciable HP, so the other one's

Argyle:willing to die.

Johnny:Okay.

Johnny:Good to know. So this first one

Johnny:is for Brian.

Johnny:That is a 32 hit.

Johnny:okay next one is for

Johnny:Hades

Johnny:39

Johnny:and this last one is for the thrall behind it That is a big crit I rolled a net

Gamemaster:you Yeah maybe Lathrol has an AC of 45

Argyle:Crit Crit How do you know

Argyle:Yeah but what was the AC

Johnny:Sorry, nat 2043.

Argyle:Maybe it wasn't

Argyle:43

Johnny:Okay.

Argyle:Yeah that's a crit

Argyle:Okay.

Johnny:This first one is for Brian.

Benny:20.

Johnny:You take 24 points of piercing damage.

Johnny:Hades, you take 40 points.

Johnny:And then Thrall in the back takes 44 points.

Argyle:Okay.

Argyle:On the back is gone.

Argyle:They had 40 hit points.

Johnny:for its last action.

Johnny:It's a super map.

Johnny:Can't really do much.

Johnny:Can't really do much,

Johnny:so it's just going to...

Johnny:I don't want to be directly on you guys.

Johnny:So it will just step back one.

Johnny:It's kind of precariously balanced

Johnny:between these two

Johnny:this is on either side now

Benny:Brian will move.

Johnny:that is its turn

Johnny:next up is

Johnny:Brian

Benny:This is a good spot for Brian.

Benny:It's a better spot for Brian.

Benny:I think this is a good spot for Brian.

Benny:let me actually see with

Benny:mixed maneuver

Benny:what is a

Benny:loud.

Benny:Grapple, reposition, shove, and trip.

Benny:And for this map, doesn't.

Benny:So let's try the shove first.

Benny:PF to the shove.

Benny:I think it's athletics versus 40C.

Benny:Yes.

Benny:And Brian's athletics is 19.

Gamemaster:It's grabbing edge, isn't it?

Johnny:I think it has a pretty hefty fort DC.

Johnny:That succeeds.

Benny:38.

Johnny:I kind of fucked myself.

Johnny:How does grab a ledge work?

Johnny:Oh, it is grab an edge, not grab a ledge.

Benny:Grab a ledge.

Benny:Pathfinder, second edition.

Benny:Five feet.

Johnny:Has to make an acrobatics check or a reflex save.

Johnny:Reflex is not great.

Johnny:How far do you push it back?

Johnny:Okay.

Johnny:This guy is on an edge

Johnny:because I should not have done this.

Argyle:What level is he?

Johnny:So he's just going to try and grab an edge

Johnny:and stop from falling into the abyss.

Johnny:Throw to 31.

Johnny:I'm going to say that he stops himself

Johnny:from falling into the abyss.

Argyle:Is that the level?

Argyle:I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

Johnny:You're right.

Johnny:What is the level DC for this thing?

Benny:Nice Now time for the grapple

Argyle:No, no, no, no, no.

Johnny:Okay Brian it is still your turn That fails

Benny:23.

Benny:And for my final action, I will do the stone shield thing.

Benny:Oh wait actually I'll enter my stone strike stance

Argyle:Great.

Johnny:Okay, we are back to Hades.

Benny:I realize I have not done that yet

Benny:That's my action

Johnny:All right.

Argyle:Great.

Argyle:I need you to make a will save,

Argyle:because I kill these ghasts.

Benny:

Argyle:Ah!

Argyle:That is the DC, so it is just framed one.

Johnny:26.

Johnny:Okay.

Argyle:This Thrall steps up, strikes, so I'll make a DC.

Argyle:So its DC should be minus one now.

Johnny:Mm-hmm.

Gamemaster:What is 20 plus 36?

Argyle:36.

Johnny:That does hit.

Argyle:Wait, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Argyle:I've missed the D.

Johnny:Oh, that does not.

Argyle:I just...

Gamemaster:Oh, that's way worse.

Argyle:19.

Argyle:I'm going to hear a point because I have three of them.

Benny:Yeah it made me uncomfortable

Argyle:I think that's eight.

Argyle:What are we?

Argyle:What am I?

Gamemaster:I just noticed that the icons changed for your classes in the dice roller

Argyle:Sorry I an expert to do that Plus eight

Gamemaster:I'm sorry, I just linked directly to the icons on Archives of Nethis and they changed the

Gamemaster:class icons because that's Paizo IP.

Benny:It's cool it was dynamically updating.

Gamemaster:Oops.

Benny:I would have figured you would have just saved some PNGs

Benny:and whatever.

Gamemaster:I should have, as it turns out, instead of just linking straight to Archives of Memphis.

Argyle:Does 43 work?

Johnny:That is a crit.

Argyle:Okay.

Gamemaster:Nice.

Argyle:Okay.

Johnny:And are you aiming for the body or one of the heads?

Argyle:This thrall's running up to hit the girl with red hair.

Johnny:Okay.

Johnny:The little half-sea woman.

Gamemaster:Hmm.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:so that's 14 points of damage

Johnny:Okay, that is.

Argyle:which is not great but that needs to be doubled

Argyle:great great great great great

Johnny:That is exactly enough to lock this head off.

Johnny:And another 1 of those things appears says remake pending.

Argyle:and then I would like you to make

Argyle:a fortitude save

Gamemaster:I don't have anything that makes you do it. I just think it would be cool if you did.

Argyle:so that's a fail

Benny:Or the character. You mean the character?

Johnny:You mean me, Noah, or the monster?

Gamemaster:No, Noah.

Benny:Yeah, wait. Did you say the character?

Johnny:That rolled 24.

Argyle:they will take 40 points of void damage

Johnny:Oh, shit.

Argyle:as the thrall explodes

Argyle:it's ten feet

Johnny:Woof.

Gamemaster:How does that work? Does it hit all the heads and the body?

Gamemaster:Thank you to just keep blowing things up

Johnny:you I didn expect this

Argyle:Noah didn expect me to have an army of men to blow up on things

Argyle:it doesn't help that i've averaged like 35 plus on 4d12 really

Johnny:Hang on one sec.

Johnny:You said how much damage?

Johnny:40?

Gamemaster:it was 40 right

Argyle:yeah 40

Gamemaster:Nice.

Johnny:Uh, sure, I will say that it targets all the heads as well.

Argyle:and Hades just

Argyle:after he's commanded to attack

Argyle:he just snaps his fingers and points at it

Argyle:and shoots

Argyle:and then he explodes

Johnny:Uh, did not expect that to happen.

Argyle:so

Johnny:one by one all the heads just explode

Argyle:I got nothing else to do

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Johnny:and they all now have that remake pending

Benny:Again.

Johnny:over them

Johnny:but they're all still

Johnny:kind of up and swaying a little bit

Johnny:next up

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Argyle:push him into the crevasse

Argyle:no they have no heads to fight you

Benny:Again.

Johnny:is Fuelton

Johnny:Fuelton

Gamemaster:Sure.

Gamemaster:I'm gonna move over here.

Benny:Again.

Gamemaster:which should put me in range of

Gamemaster:yes, both Runway Brian

Argyle:Oh, oops.

Gamemaster:and Hades are within range of me

Gamemaster:so one action to move

Gamemaster:one action to raise my

Gamemaster:banner, which you guys

Gamemaster:get to heal for d6

Gamemaster:you get 11 hit points

Gamemaster:I yell out to

Argyle:Quick.

Gamemaster:Hades, this thing's from your

Gamemaster:mythology. You should know its weaknesses.

Gamemaster:And then I'm gonna do an attack.

Argyle:Look at it.

Gamemaster:Its hands are like its

Gamemaster:necks are still waving around. It's gross.

Argyle:you gotta push it off the ledge

Gamemaster:Uh,

Gamemaster:I'm gonna, I'm gonna do

Gamemaster:a thing.

Gamemaster:That just doesn't seem like the solution to this. I'm gonna do a combat assessment.

Argyle:definitely the solution here

Johnny:That does hit.

Gamemaster:31?

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:I was true to d20.

Gamemaster:That's not right.

Johnny:Alright, and...

Gamemaster:18 points of slashing damage.

Gamemaster:And a d6 of persistent bleed.

Johnny:Oh, alright.

Johnny:And roll.

Gamemaster:And...

Johnny:I will say, any...

Johnny:Any intelligence-based skill, pretty much, for this thing?

Gamemaster:Warfare lore is intelligence based, no?

Johnny:I will say you could use warfare lore

Argyle:How to stop it from reloading.

Johnny:in this situation

Johnny:because this is a walking siege machine

Gamemaster:Sick.

Johnny:siege engine

Gamemaster:29.

Johnny:that is a

Gamemaster:29.

Johnny:regular success

Gamemaster:That's fair.

Gamemaster:I want to know...

Gamemaster:Is it metagamey to be like I know that Hydra's heads reload?

Gamemaster:I assume yes, but I don't know, like, like weaknesses, I guess is what I'm looking for.

Johnny:the stumps themselves are still there and they look like they're sort of starting to sprout

Gamemaster:Yeah, like, what I'm looking for is how to stop it from regenerating,

Argyle:Too bad Void doesn do it

Gamemaster:but I don't know if I can actually ask that without, like, metagaming.

Johnny:you think you have to cauterize them somehow either like fire or acid probably

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Fire Acid? Yeah.

Johnny:true

Gamemaster:I don't have either of those.

Gamemaster:You guys have got this.

Johnny:fire acid

Johnny:you think you have to kill this thing so hard that it can come back or you have to cauterize its heads

Gamemaster:Yeah Yeah I announce that to the rest of the people

Benny:you You may

Gamemaster:I have no solutions for that particular problem,

Gamemaster:but I will let it be known.

Gamemaster:I don't know.

Gamemaster:Do either of you have solutions for that problem?

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Back to plan A.

Gamemaster:Shove it into the abyss.

Johnny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Great.

Gamemaster:that's all my actions

Argyle:So I can't stop it with void energy, I'm guessing.

Johnny:Anything else you would like to do, Fuelton?

Johnny:Alright, top of the turn, the mouse head stump that says,

Gamemaster:mm

Johnny:remake pending, remake pending, remake initiated, and it splits off and you see two sort of smaller versions of that mouse head that are both there now.

Johnny:The rest still say remake pending.

Gamemaster:Oh good.

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:I mean, if you kill it outright, but you don't think you can stop the regeneration.

Johnny:But because of the top, it's turned the order.

Johnny:Because of the order of operations, it does not regenerate any of its other hit points, just its heads.

Johnny:Which is very lucky for you guys.

Johnny:Next, it will take a trampling charge.

Johnny:It's going to move a straight line 30 feet this way.

Johnny:wow that's not as far as I had hoped

Gamemaster:Great.

Argyle:Second.

Johnny:thought that would be a lot for

Gamemaster:Great.

Johnny:Fuel 10 Hades

Johnny:both you need to make

Johnny:fortitude saves as it just

Johnny:trampled over you

Gamemaster:34.

Gamemaster:It unfortunate that this isn like an explosion and the like because then I be able to use my shield 342 Crazy

Johnny:that is a success

Johnny:you both take half damage You both take half damage

Argyle:34 34

Johnny:You both take nine points of damage, of bludgeoning damage, as this thing runs over you.

Gamemaster:Ow.

Johnny:It does not want to get pushed into the abyss, so it's just going to take another move action.

Johnny:another

Benny:I'm not sure Brian can push it into the abyss.

Gamemaster:Oh.

Argyle:I'm guessing.

Johnny:oh do you not have

Benny:I just realized the size discrepancy.

Gamemaster:Oh.

Johnny:Titan Wrestler

Benny:I do have Titan wrestler, but is that...

Johnny:I think

Johnny:that

Benny:I guess how big is this?

Johnny:this is huge

Benny:Because Brian is...

Benny:Brian's medium.

Johnny:This is a huge creature.

Gamemaster:So you can. Oh no, large Giant. Is it large Giant huge? Is it just... God.

Benny:Oh, okay.

Argyle:Yeah, I think it's large, huge, gigantic or gargantuan.

Johnny:I thought it was large huge.

Gamemaster:I think it might be large huge. One second, I can check.

Benny:Yes, it is large, huge gargantuan.

Gamemaster:So you can?

Benny:Okay, everyone.

Johnny:This thing is huge, but not gargantuan.

Gamemaster:As it's running away from me, I'd like to reactive strike it.

Johnny:Oh, yeah.

Johnny:Go for it.

Gamemaster:I'm going to use a mythic on that.

Argyle:and just to clarify

Argyle:that second movement it did was not

Argyle:a tramp

Gamemaster:A trample.

Argyle:it was just a regular movement

Argyle:okay

Johnny:That was just regular movement.

Johnny:Only the first one was a trampling charge.

Argyle:yeah

Argyle:sounds good

Gamemaster:I rolled bad again.

Gamemaster:Uh, 27?

Johnny:27.

Johnny:This is on the body 27 hits

Argyle:That Yeah that should hit Welcome to Marshalls

Gamemaster:Okay I just I rolled a 3 and then I rolled a 4

Gamemaster:Yeah, I know.

Argyle:You can't use your cold cash here.

Gamemaster:What?

Gamemaster:13 points of damage?

Argyle:Welcome to Marshalls.

Johnny:All right.

Johnny:next up is Brian

Benny:Ryan.

Gamemaster:Uh, wait, no, it ended its turn.

Argyle:Okay.

Johnny:oh you are right

Gamemaster:It takes a d6 of bleed damage.

Johnny:it does take a decent

Johnny:amount of bleed damage which

Johnny:it most definitely will make a flat check

Gamemaster:It takes 6 bleed damage and then it has to make a flat check.

Gamemaster:Or it can choose to make a flat check to, uh, to staunch the bleeding.

Johnny:I don't think it passes its flat check

Johnny:um

Gamemaster:It does not.

Johnny:As the trail of blood oozes out of it, all the lights in the battlefield go dark one at a time.

Benny:Oh, God.

Gamemaster:It's green.

Johnny:Doom, doom, doom, doom, doom.

Johnny:And you just hear overhead, live action reboot initiated.

Johnny:Live action reboot initiated.

Johnny:One.

Benny:I'm so worried about what we're going to see next.

Johnny:It comes back up.

Benny:Oh my god.

Gamemaster:Awwww, I don't like that at all.

Argyle:No.

Johnny:It has five heads again.

Johnny:And it is disturbingly realistically rendered.

Johnny:This is a crime against nature.

Gamemaster:It lost all seven of its arms! Where'd they go?

Johnny:It is...

Johnny:All the heads have come back.

Gamemaster:Wait, did all the heads come back?

Benny:Armors didn't test well with new audiences.

Gamemaster:Rude.

Benny:for the rebuild

Johnny:Yeah, arms did not test well. The body itself still looks like it has taken some severe damage, and so it is damaged.

Johnny:But all the heads are back, and they now, despite looking more realistic, they all look a little more feral and upset.

Johnny:Especially the mouse, which now kind of looks like a guy in Wizard of Oz makeup.

Benny:it does

Benny:Brian

Johnny:That is the Hydra's turn. It's still bleeding out. Next up is Brian.

Benny:Brian will summon mythic power

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:22 fails.

Benny:and then run over

Benny:and then really run over it now

Benny:and then

Benny:attempt to grapple

Benny:22

Benny:That's Brian's turn.

Johnny:Next up is Hades.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:The guy with the toga says that?

Johnny:That's cool.

Argyle:What's unfortunate for this thing is it didn't use its damaging movement to its final movement.

Argyle:So it's accidentally on top of one of my thralls.

Argyle:So my thrall is going to go, hey, I'm walking over here.

Argyle:And then just grab its little sword and then strike up.

Johnny:The Greek wall from New York.

Argyle:crossover

Johnny:All right.

Gamemaster:I should have been Ultron

Johnny:Hey, buddy, I'm walking here

Argyle:Marvel line they would have loved it

Argyle:three mythics so I'm just going to use one here

Gamemaster:that's a Disney villain

Johnny:That is a Disney IP you said 30 that hits are you for a head or the body?

Argyle:dirty

Argyle:yeah

Argyle:I aiming for the fucking mouse head All right 16 points

Benny:Tim, it's your turn.

Johnny:Okay that hits the mouse head

Johnny:Right.

Argyle:And I hate to break it to you.

Argyle:I'm going to need a fort safe.

Johnny:Because this is a live-action reboot,

Johnny:it has gotten a little heftier

Johnny:thanks to the increased budget on this school.

Argyle:All right.

Benny:this is going to be fucking impossible

Gamemaster:I can try.

Argyle:All right.

Benny:anyone make this thing afraid

Argyle:Well, that succeeds critically.

Argyle:So now no explosion damage.

Argyle:But you can just leave.

Argyle:No, I already did that, and it's no longer over.

Argyle:Now I'm going to use my last action to create more thralls.

Benny:okay

Argyle:So I'm just not going to delete that other thrall.

Argyle:I'll just add two more.

Johnny:Okay.

Gamemaster:Fuel 10 is going to walk here so that this is...

Argyle:Oh.

Johnny:Next up is Fuelton.

Gamemaster:That's right.

Gamemaster:You're within 30 feet.

Gamemaster:You're within 30 feet or adjacent to the legally distinct nostalgia hydra.

Gamemaster:And then he's going to improvise a strategy.

Gamemaster:I need

Johnny:Okay, it's perception DC is 32.

Gamemaster:oh I'm going to make a warfare lore check

Argyle:New plan.

Gamemaster:against the legally distinct

Gamemaster:nostalgia hydra's perception DC

Gamemaster:I don't

Gamemaster:I don't think it's reasonable for me to get that

Gamemaster:okay so I will fail

Gamemaster:so that didn't do anything

Gamemaster:so I'm just gonna demoralizing charge

Gamemaster:people within 30 feet

Argyle:We get the mirror.

Gamemaster:yeah new plan people within 30 feet

Gamemaster:I mean you could just go for the mirror yeah okay you do that You go running for the mirror Maybe we just get the mirror and that fine

Benny:Thank you Yeah you know what

Argyle:We get the mirror and I 9th level teleport us out guys

Gamemaster:But for the people who are within 30 feet of me,

Gamemaster:they can stride and then attack if they like.

Gamemaster:It's completely free for Brian.

Argyle:Thralls!

Gamemaster:It's a reaction to attack for the other ones.

Benny:I'm not doing anything.

Argyle:Thralls attack! 20 misses the thrall.

Benny:I will attack.

Benny:29

Argyle:20

Johnny:20 does not hit.

Argyle:if all of my throws get to hit

Johnny:29 does hit.

Benny:the mouse head

Johnny:Are you going for a head or the body?

Johnny:It hits both.

Benny:he can't avoid it

Johnny:Roll mouse head damage.

Argyle:two of them miss and one of them hits

Argyle:if only one gets it

Argyle:none of them hit

Benny:17

Benny:points of damage

Argyle:what's the rune like, Noah?

Johnny:You popped the Thrall head off. Interestingly, this time there is no remake pending. The head is just gone.

Benny:nice

Argyle:Oh.

Argyle:Did all of the thralls get to make an attack

Argyle:or only one of them?

Johnny:I think that was a... Oh, I thought that was a Josh question.

Argyle:Noah.

Gamemaster:Oh, is it a Josh question?

Argyle:I think rules is written.

Johnny:Oh, yeah. Go for it then.

Gamemaster:I'm not the DM.

Argyle:I think rules is written that all the thralls get to hit.

Argyle:Alright, only one of them made through,

Argyle:and it was a 32 to hit.

Johnny:Yeah, that hits.

Argyle:Okay.

Johnny:Are you going for a head or are you going for the body?

Argyle:I'm going for the Ice Queen.

Johnny:Do it.

Argyle:46 plus 4.

Argyle:15 points of damage, and...

Gamemaster:Thank you Is he choosing to explode

Argyle:This Thrall disappears because he chooses to smaller explode and give me a slight bonus on that But

Johnny:All right Alright

Argyle:Not a big one.

Gamemaster:That was his decision.

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:Did you urge him to explode?

Johnny:Did you say, hey man?

Argyle:I urged him.

Gamemaster:I think it'd be really cool if you exploded right now.

Johnny:Okay.

Gamemaster:No, that's the end of my turn.

Johnny:The Ice Queen head is looking injured.

Johnny:Is it still Fuelton's turn?

Gamemaster:I'm done.

Johnny:All right.

Johnny:Then...

Johnny:Yeah, we'll do this guy.

Johnny:The Space Ranger head...

Gamemaster:Is this a reflex...

Johnny:It's going to look at Hades.

Johnny:I think that's the...

Johnny:Can I do this in a line?

Johnny:It's going to look at Hades and say, to infinity, approximately!

Johnny:And you need to make a reflex save.

Gamemaster:Sorry, is this a manipulate action?

Johnny:Yeah, this is a manipulate action as it kind of like opens up its chest and a laser gun

Johnny:shoots out.

Gamemaster:Yeah, I'd like to stab it then.

Argyle:Is this a mental effect?

Johnny:Yeah.

Johnny:No, this is a laser.

Argyle:Alright.

Gamemaster:I got a natural one, I don't think I'm gonna take it.

Argyle:Yes.

Gamemaster:I'm gonna spend my last mythic instead to reroll it.

Gamemaster:I still did bad!

Gamemaster:25?

Johnny:You're going for the head or the body?

Gamemaster:I would be going for a hit.

Gamemaster:I'd be going for Elsa.

Johnny:That does not hit the head.

Argyle:It's really only plus six.

Gamemaster:Darn.

Gamemaster:I rolled a one in

Benny:Allegedly.

Gamemaster:than a two.

Argyle:You're a master?

Johnny:That succeeds.

Gamemaster:Uh, no, I'm an

Gamemaster:expert, so master

Argyle:Two, four, six.

Gamemaster:legendary mythic.

Argyle:Yes, yes, you're right, you're right.

Gamemaster:I can count.

Gamemaster:Sometimes.

Argyle:I have...

Argyle:I got 27 for my save.

Gamemaster:Allegedly.

Johnny:So you take half this damage, which is good.

Argyle:Great.

Johnny:You take 15 points of fire damage.

Gamemaster:understandable

Argyle:Okay.

Johnny:That's two actions for its third action.

Johnny:It's just gonna take one bite attack.

Johnny:It'll go against Fuelton, because Fuelton keeps swiping at it.

Argyle:It doesn't want one of the thralls.

Gamemaster:hmm

Johnny:really, that's why I shot you with a laser.

Argyle:Oh, is that a line?

Johnny:Yeah, it's a line.

Argyle:We can erase one of them.

Argyle:I can move one of them back.

Benny:Nice.

Gamemaster:I dodge.

Argyle:Yeah, I figured it would do that well.

Johnny:Uh, okay.

Johnny:Going to... actually it's gonna, without trying, hit you with its tail. It's got a tail.

Johnny:It's a 27 hit.

Gamemaster:I still dodge.

Gamemaster:No.

Johnny:Oh, it... you dodge!

Johnny:Uh, wow, that is crazy.

Gamemaster:Macy's 29.

Johnny:That's the Hydra's turn.

Benny:Brian is going to probably for the last last attempt.

Argyle:Are we going to dip or are we going to try to kill it?

Johnny:Next up is Brian.

Benny:Brian is going to make two grapples.

Gamemaster:I don't think we need to throw it into the abyss anymore.

Gamemaster:I mean you welcome to try The heads aren regenerating so I think we can just kill it But if you want to throw it into the abyss you more than welcome to I didn mean to dissuade you from it Yeah

Johnny:26 does not grapple.

Benny:Brian making two grapple attacks

Argyle:Why two

Benny:A 26.

Argyle:If the first one hits...

Benny:Does a 26 grapple?

Benny:How about a 21?

Benny:what can Brian do

Johnny:It's not grappled.

Gamemaster:Is Brian injured?

Benny:for his last action

Benny:that is reasonable

Benny:Brian is injured

Benny:okay

Gamemaster:I can heal you, but I have to be

Gamemaster:adjacent to you to do that.

Benny:Brian will use stony deflection

Gamemaster:But if you don't need the healing, you don't need to come towards me.

Benny:which is effectively

Benny:yeah

Gamemaster:A shield.

Benny:and that's it

Gamemaster:Oh, I'm so sorry.

Argyle:It is.

Johnny:Right. Next up is Haynes.

Benny:that's the whole term

Gamemaster:At the end of the Hydra's turn it should have taken some bleed damage.

Johnny:Oh, you're right. Feel free to roll the bleed. I'll roll the recovery check.

Gamemaster:Five bleed.

Gamemaster:Good.

Johnny:And it did not recover.

Johnny:Hydra is definitely bloody

Gamemaster:Yeah, it's bleeding.

Argyle:yeah

Johnny:and is bloody

Johnny:Hades

Argyle:he is going to

Gamemaster:Oh!

Argyle:Hades is going to

Argyle:do something a little different

Gamemaster:What's he doing?

Argyle:actually

Argyle:spice things up

Johnny:question

Argyle:his

Argyle:this thrall at the bottom here

Argyle:is

Argyle:its head is going to open like he going to say something and they just going to keep opening and opening and then try to suck the life force out of this thing as hades cast life tap

Johnny:Okay.

Johnny:What do I have to roll?

Argyle:and um

Argyle:you need to roll a fortitude save

Johnny:I got a 41.

Argyle:Hades hates it

Argyle:and

Argyle:command

Argyle:tells it to

Argyle:you know fuck it

Argyle:we're gonna make some more thralls

Argyle:and he's going to

Argyle:generate

Argyle:thrall here

Argyle:and

Argyle:they're all there.

Argyle:And then Hades is going to

Gamemaster:Well, you know I gotta do it, but moralize and charge.

Johnny:Next up is Fuel Tim.

Argyle:let's just move over here.

Argyle:That's my turn.

Johnny:Yeah.

Argyle:Okay.

Gamemaster:Because I gotta.

Gamemaster:So anything within 30 feet of me can move and then strike.

Argyle:31.

Gamemaster:It's a reaction to strike, except for Runway Brian, who can do it for free.

Benny:ill

Johnny:29 hits, 38, 34 hits, 29 hits.

Argyle:30.

Argyle:What's next?

Benny:34.

Johnny:Jorge, is the last 25 going for a head or the body?

Argyle:I believe it's...

Argyle:They're all heads. I only roll head.

Johnny:Okay.

Johnny:Then all of them hit except for the 25.

Benny:15 is the space ranger head still up 15 points of damage to the Space Ranger

Johnny:Base manager head is still up

Argyle:Okay cool OK cool

Benny:Make it pay.

Argyle:Uh? The first one goes to Elsa. 15.

Johnny:Elsa head is gone.

Johnny:the Rapunzel the long-haired woman long hair

Argyle:Alright, next one goes to the the blonde one.

Argyle:44 plus 4.

Johnny:all right that head is still up

Argyle:Oopsie.

Argyle:Oh, no, it's 46.

Argyle:I did that wrong.

Argyle:It's 46 plus 4.

Argyle:17.

Argyle:And the last one will go there, too.

Argyle:and those are all exploding

Johnny:1D3, D4, D10.

Benny:A number.

Gamemaster:Expect that to roll.

Johnny:Of course.

Argyle:he's biting you josh

Argyle:is he biting you

Gamemaster:What?

Argyle:Your cat.

Gamemaster:He's having a good time.

Gamemaster:He's not actually biting me.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:If anything, I just noticed this guy.

Gamemaster:I don't know why he's choosing to sleep there.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:I will see you later.

Gamemaster:It doesn't seem like a particularly comfortable place, but...

Argyle:Warm.

Gamemaster:Oh, you know what it is?

Gamemaster:The exhaust fans for my server in that closet are routed through the closets, and the fans are right there.

Argyle:Uh, blonde.

Gamemaster:So he's just sleeping in front of two fans blowing hot air in his face.

Johnny:Oh, Jorge, sorry.

Johnny:Was that 11 at the...

Johnny:Which head was that?

Johnny:That is exactly enough to

Benny:Yes.

Gamemaster:Nice.

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:pop that head off.

Argyle:Oh, strong, strong, strong, strong.

Johnny:Fields and Wells.

Gamemaster:Mr. Brian, are you done trying to throw it off the edge?

Gamemaster:Okay, I'm going to use Gather to me and ask that you just come over to me.

Gamemaster:And then I will use my last action to battle medicine.

Benny:Ooh.

Argyle:raise it

Gamemaster:I'm going for DC 20.

Argyle:woohoo

Gamemaster:33 is a crit.

Argyle:big money and whammies

Gamemaster:So you are going to get 48 plus 10.

Benny:Do I roll? You roll?

Gamemaster:You get... oh, you should have rolled. You get 19.

Benny:Yay, 19.

Argyle:Who has left?

Johnny:All right.

Gamemaster:Alright, and that's the end of my turn.

Johnny:Back to the Hydra.

Johnny:Hydra is not looking great.

Johnny:Got three heads left.

Johnny:Lost the mouse head, the ice queen head, and the...

Johnny:Let's have two heads left.

Gamemaster:I dodge.

Johnny:So we got two heads.

Benny:Wait, both of who?

Argyle:Thank you you How long is the line yet

Johnny:Yeah, it's going to try and shoot you two with a big laser right through the both of

Johnny:So both of you need to make a reflex save.

Gamemaster:I raise my shield. Sick!

Johnny:Brian and Fuelton.

Benny:God damn it.

Gamemaster:Yeah, sorry.

Johnny:Thank you for gathering so close together like that Wait is Hades also in this

Gamemaster:I so sorry I did literally use gather to me three feet

Benny:20s 26 replays

Johnny:Hang on, this is a big line, one sec.

Benny:an hour and a half

Johnny:The line is 15 feet wide and 40 feet long.

Gamemaster:fifteen feet wide

Argyle:Ah, I'll do it.

Johnny:Oh, wait, no, I think you're just outside of range.

Argyle:Okay.

Argyle:I won't do it.

Benny:Okay.

Gamemaster:Uh, 32.

Argyle:Okay.

Johnny:Yeah, you're just outside the range.

Argyle:Okay.

Johnny:Okay, what did you guys get?

Benny:26.

Johnny:32 succeeds, 26 fails.

Johnny:Josh, you take 15 points of fire damage

Benny:But they're so close together.

Gamemaster:I'm so sorry.

Gamemaster:You shouldn't have gathered to me.

Gamemaster:What were you even thinking?

Argyle:You're going to take more than 19 points of damage.

Gamemaster:Yeah, absolutely.

Gamemaster:This was not a good plan.

Gamemaster:Why'd you let me do it?

Benny:It's okay.

Benny:Okay.

Gamemaster:I actually take five points of fire damage.

Argyle:Okay, it's gone.

Johnny:Brian, you

Johnny:you take 5 points

Gamemaster:How dare you.

Johnny:Brian, you take 30 points of fire damage

Johnny:and then last action

Gamemaster:Ouch.

Johnny:the Nostalgia Hydra is going to take a tail attack

Johnny:on this Thrall over here

Johnny:because

Johnny:okay

Johnny:nice, okay that Thrall's out of there

Argyle:It's a C's one.

Johnny:that's the Hydra

Johnny:Next up is Brian.

Benny:Brian.

Argyle:That was very smart of the Hydra.

Argyle:That thing was about to explode next turn.

Argyle:Ha ha ha!

Gamemaster:Yeah, it took me a little bit to figure out the pun of his name, but yes.

Benny:Brian's out for blood.

Benny:Brian want kill.

Benny:Did anyone look up what IP this Brian belongs to, by the way?

Johnny:Yeah.

Benny:Mm hmm.

Gamemaster:...

Johnny:Runway Brian is done That was pretty funny

Benny:Oh this is a hero point I guess This was going to be Fury of Blows

Benny:27.

Johnny:Oh, is this on a body or a head?

Benny:This is on a head.

Benny:Space Ranger still exists.

Benny:that's one action

Johnny:Yeah, 27 misses, though.

Gamemaster:No, you should do it so he can heal you for 25 and then you can take 40 more damage.

Argyle:No!

Benny:Brian will

Benny:move

Benny:this is 20 feet

Benny:this is

Benny:you can heal

Argyle:I can't heal you guys if you stay.

Argyle:Okay.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:I don't want to stay in a laser line

Argyle:Okay.

Benny:I'll just move the 10 feet or whatever.

Gamemaster:That sounds right.

Johnny:All right.

Benny:And then Brian will...

Benny:There's only two actions.

Benny:Brian will raise his fists.

Benny:Stony baloney, whatever this thing's called.

Benny:Stony deflection.

Johnny:All right.

Johnny:Next up is Hades.

Argyle:Hades

Argyle:my man

Argyle:he's gonna move a little

Argyle:uh let's make it over here

Argyle:and then

Gamemaster:Kill? Power Word Kill?

Argyle:he's going to cast

Argyle:uh

Argyle:song

Argyle:of the soul

Argyle:and Hades

Gamemaster:That's close.

Argyle:is gonna break out into a tune and he's surprisingly

Argyle:very good at singing

Argyle:and you'd go wow he really should be

Argyle:one of the main leads of something

Argyle:we start singing

Argyle:and

Argyle:now

Gamemaster:all good at singing We Disney characters Thank you

Argyle:I will pick to do this onto Brian Brian will get 4d8 I let you roll it this time so you can be your own destiny

Benny:20.

Argyle:Wait a second.

Argyle:I slightly butchered this.

Argyle:I need to create a big thrall here instead.

Argyle:Brian still gets that healing

Benny:Hello, Big Thrill.

Gamemaster:Nice.

Argyle:but this is a big throw

Argyle:and as long as you

Benny:Hello, Big Thrill.

Argyle:end your turn within 15 feet

Argyle:of it you get fast healing

Argyle:4

Argyle:yeah

Benny:Duly noted.

Argyle:yeah

Argyle:um

Argyle:okay

Argyle:And then I'll put that right here, actually.

Johnny:Next up is Fuehlton.

Argyle:And then I will just use my last action to do a thrall there.

Argyle:Thrall there.

Argyle:And you know the gist, another thrall.

Argyle:And that's me.

Argyle:I like to give

Argyle:Fuelton to some guys to command by his turn

Gamemaster:that's fair

Johnny:Yeah, the accommodation.

Gamemaster:um

Gamemaster:yeah I mean

Gamemaster:I really just gotta

Gamemaster:there's no reason to not continually

Gamemaster:demoralizing charge

Gamemaster:so I'm going to continually demoralizing charge

Gamemaster:so once again

Gamemaster:everybody within 30 feet of me gets

Gamemaster:destroyed once and then also can spend

Gamemaster:a reaction to do an attack

Gamemaster:except for Brian he gets to do it

Gamemaster:for free also if any of them land

Gamemaster:the Hydra has to make a will save against fear.

Gamemaster:If more than one lands,

Gamemaster:because I just read this bit, if more than one landing

Benny:Brian.

Gamemaster:It gives him a penalty.

Argyle:Oh, that's good, because I was blowing them up just to be nice, but I could have just kept stacking them.

Johnny:The combination of 500 thralls plus the commander is crazy.

Gamemaster:So we'll resolve that at the end

Gamemaster:to see how many land,

Gamemaster:and then we'll do the roll.

Gamemaster:It is technically limited to up to five.

Benny:Brian.

Gamemaster:So, you know.

Johnny:Okay.

Argyle:one thrall got a 43

Gamemaster:Ha ha.

Benny:I ain't got a 31 to hit.

Johnny:That does hit.

Gamemaster:Okay, so it also, after all of this, gets to make a will save.

Johnny:The 43 is a crit.

Argyle:another one got

Argyle:a 31

Argyle:and then

Argyle:the last one got a 17

Argyle:okay

Johnny:The 17 does not hit.

Johnny:I think the others do.

Gamemaster:It has a minus three to the roll.

Argyle:Cool.

Argyle:So that's 18 times 2, which is 36.

Johnny:Let me know if you guys are going for it.

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Yes, it will save.

Johnny:Is that for heads or bodies?

Argyle:All hits. I never hit for body.

Johnny:Not heads or bodies.

Johnny:Where's my...

Johnny:This is a will save?

Argyle:And then 14.

Johnny:Will save.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:so i'll take the i got one of the heads i'll go i'll leave the power ranger for you

Johnny:34.

Johnny:If you guys are going for heads...

Johnny:Pop, pop, pop.

Benny:Yes.

Gamemaster:Hour Ranger?

Johnny:This is kind of a combo.

Johnny:Taking down the last heads, how do you want to do this?

Argyle:I'll go for the redhead.

Argyle:One of the thralls, the one...

Argyle:Let me get a laser pointer so you guys can follow along.

Argyle:The one right here is actually going to come up like this And these two thralls are going to hold their hands like this and then one of them gonna run up and then jump and then they gonna boost him up and then the other thrall

Argyle:is going to stab it in the head and then just explode and then one of the ones that it uh

Argyle:it climbed up with also exploded uh but then one of them's one of them's there so yeah that that's

Argyle:how we're going to do it.

Benny:happening, Brian

Johnny:You meet, for a second there's resistance as you meet the dome of its helmet and then

Benny:is going to be antagonizing the Space Ranger

Benny:being crouched, and then

Benny:when it gets close enough, he's just going to put

Benny:both of his fists together and smash the Space

Argyle:What an alley cat.

Benny:Ranger's head.

Benny:He is, I mean, very cat-like.

Argyle:Some would say.

Johnny:it shatters and you drive the shards into its head.

Johnny:And Hydra

Argyle:Run to the mirror!

Johnny:weighs and falls dead. As it

Benny:All fours.

Gamemaster:You wanna run?

Johnny:falls, the cracks in the ground

Johnny:where this abyss is begin to open wider around you, spreading out from the

Johnny:impact of the body.

Argyle:Run to the mirror!

Gamemaster:

Gamemaster:just in case

Johnny:All right.

Argyle:So our plan, I believe, is we're going to run to the mirror and then we're going to

Argyle:9th level teleport, because Hades can do that, back to the original temple.

Johnny:You guys get to the mirror.

Gamemaster:uh

Argyle:I'm also going to blow up one of the last thralls

Gamemaster:I'm also going to

Benny:Sure.

Gamemaster:use my

Gamemaster:um

Gamemaster:mountaineering training to give all of us

Gamemaster:a climbing speed of 20 feet

Gamemaster:just in case

Gamemaster:oh sure

Argyle:just to give myself two focus points,

Argyle:which I can do once per day.

Johnny:as you get to it though you see

Johnny:that same image that you've been seeing

Johnny:in the sky all night

Argyle:Thank you Yeah yeah we going

Johnny:that image of that cat but as you get closer the mirror looks wavy and almost translucent almost like a film of water

Benny:you We have

Gamemaster:you you clearly the answer is to jump in yeah

Benny:We hop in the mirror.

Gamemaster:write it

Argyle:oh yeah

Johnny:You guys jump in

Johnny:One after the other boom boom boom and you guys enter the real world and that's where we'll end the one shot

Gamemaster:that's a problem

Gamemaster:that just

Argyle:it

Benny:For some.

Johnny:Yes, I have.

Argyle:they're in for

Argyle:they're in for some trouble

Gamemaster:that's just setting it up for the next one shot

Gamemaster:we've built toontown

Gamemaster:that's what's gotta happen

Gamemaster:I have no idea

Argyle:have you guys seen

Argyle:Wile E.

Argyle:Coyote vs. Acme yet?

Johnny:Yes, I have.

Argyle:Great movie.

Benny:I have it now.

Gamemaster:what you're talking about

Argyle:You should watch Coyote vs. Acme in some theaters.

Johnny:It was really good.

Gamemaster:you have to stop telling me

Benny:Is it theaters?

Gamemaster:to watch things in theaters.

Gamemaster:I have not watched a movie in a theater

Johnny:Thank you guys for.

Gamemaster:in like a decade.

Argyle:Yeah, watch this one.

Argyle:This is an F you to Warner Brothers.

Gamemaster:I legitimately think the last movie

Gamemaster:I watched in a theater

Gamemaster:was Endgame with You.

Argyle:Damn.

Gamemaster:Like, I don't go to movie theaters.

Argyle:I'm sick.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:This is a good one.

Gamemaster:Yeah, this was a good time.

Gamemaster:I liked being a commander. It's a fun class. It's a weird class, but it's a fun class.

Johnny:Commander and Necromancer are both odd classes.

Johnny:Both work really well together.

Gamemaster:How'd you like Necromancer?

Argyle:It's everything I wanted.

Gamemaster:So it's like, you know, if you made another character a la, you know, Egan. Egan's his name? Yeah?

Argyle:100 I didn even spec into a high necromancer I specced into a healing one

Gamemaster:if there were an E

Johnny:Egan.

Gamemaster:it would be a necromancer

Gamemaster:yeah of course

Johnny:you there a that that was crazy

Argyle:I can cast harm and then choose

Argyle:to also heal living creatures if I wanted

Argyle:to and do things like that.

Argyle:But I didn't even do that. I was just using

Argyle:my focus points for bombs.

Johnny:uh you guys skipped

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:I had like a whole other section that you guys skipped.

Benny:Brian doesn't know enough about

Gamemaster:And for what?

Argyle:I don't need loot.

Johnny:There's also loot in the cave that you guys didn't get.

Argyle:I have the underworld.

Argyle:I'm the god of the underworld.

Gamemaster:Yeah, he is the underworld.

Gamemaster:And...

Benny:Brian does like shiny things

Benny:but the shiny thing that he wanted this whole time was the mirror

Argyle:Would this have given us

Johnny:I think...

Argyle:items for this fight or something?

Johnny:Yeah, I think you rolled a nat 1 on your perception check,

Johnny:but there was...

Johnny:The...

Johnny:um what's called the lamp itself you could have attuned to and would have given you

Gamemaster:Sorry.

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:the ability to cast manifestation three times uh there was also uh i think a glass slipper

Johnny:that made you faster and there was a rose that gave you extra hit points

Johnny:Yep. Manifestation three times, but with the cap that the maximum level of spell you could

Gamemaster:We would have been able to cast Manifestation three times?

Gamemaster:That's crazy.

Johnny:recreate as half your level rounded down.

Gamemaster:Okay, that's lame.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:I thought you were just going to give us three 9th level spells.

Johnny:Yes, with, sorry, quick caveat, not ninth level spells, fourth level max.

Gamemaster:I mean, that's still pretty powerful.

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:you also missed

Gamemaster:But it's no power word kill.

Argyle:

Argyle:No.

Johnny:you guys

Gamemaster:Which...

Argyle:

Johnny:went around

Argyle:No.

Gamemaster:Good.

Johnny:the puzzle

Johnny:you went around

Johnny:encountering the whale

Johnny:and then you also

Johnny:missed the

Johnny:the puzzle in between

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:Jaskar

Johnny:and the

Johnny:the final fight

Johnny:you would follow the

Benny:I didn't think he was doing that

Gamemaster:did you not expect us to wish to go straight to where the mirror was

Argyle:So for me,

Johnny:and then you had to make Ratatouille.

Gamemaster:that was i think i think the three of us were all immediately like oh he's giving us this genie that

Johnny:No, I didn't expect that at all.

Johnny:I don't know why I didn't expect that.

Gamemaster:grants his witches clearly to get to the next step we have to wish ourselves there

Gamemaster:really

Benny:when Jorge was like, let's go find the

Benny:fucking genie and ask him for wishes.

Benny:I was like, oh yeah, I guess we could do that.

Benny:I don't know.

Argyle:I didn't know until after I said that sentence

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:I don't know why I didn't think of that.

Argyle:I was like I'm gonna go fuck with that guy

Argyle:and then I was like oh my god he could

Argyle:totally teleport us so then I was like

Argyle:well I know we now have to fill

Argyle:two gag wishes

Argyle:so that's where I was trying to

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:That's why I thought we were...

Argyle:laughing

Gamemaster:I thought we were joking around,

Argyle:laughing

Gamemaster:because we're like, ha ha, hee hee,

Gamemaster:wish number three, we're going to the boss.

Argyle:laughing

Gamemaster:So wish one and two,

Gamemaster:it could be we could summon a hat.

Johnny:No, there was going to be a little map covered in rat paws,

Argyle:laughing

Johnny:and it would have had the Cave of Wonder and then a bunch of dot, dot, dot lines.

Argyle:that's what

Gamemaster:Of course.

Johnny:and then just like a big red X.

Johnny:And he would follow that to a temple

Argyle:that's what the

Johnny:with also a kitchen and had to make Ratatouille.

Gamemaster:Of course.

Argyle:the genie gets for not turning into my thrall

Argyle:what about

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Johnny:Jaskar, the poorly worded usurper?

Johnny:uh any of the answers were the right answer for that one

Gamemaster:Portrush Scar.

Argyle:how are we supposed to get past the riddle other than just saying long rest

Argyle:yeah

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Benny:We almost failed.

Gamemaster:Okay, good.

Johnny:i i

Gamemaster:So it was a stop just to see if we could respond.

Johnny:it was mostly

Johnny:I was like

Gamemaster:We almost failed, yeah.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Johnny:any of these would be the right answer

Johnny:I just want to see how long it takes them to get there

Argyle:I I like Hades reasoning yeah yeah This was a lot of fun

Gamemaster:you in the campaign no

Johnny:that was very funny

Argyle:Hades is a great character.

Argyle:Can I just play as Hades?

Johnny:The actual God of Ice.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:you don't get to be Hades

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:it did fit with the disney thief that's unfortunate

Argyle:well

Johnny:The true magic, the best magic of all is chronomancy, but that did not fit with the Disney theme.

Gamemaster:are you sure he must have been in some disney thing i really in hindsight i don't think we

Johnny:With all Disney, sadly, Dimension 20 is not all Disney IP.

Gamemaster:should have stuck to like classic disney we should have done one of the disney ips that

Gamemaster:are really out there. I think it would have been fun if one of us was Thanos. Like...

Benny:Or if one of us was Drew Brees.

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:I just

Gamemaster:Yeah, this is Neo-TSPN.

Benny:Bill Belichick.

Johnny:I was like I was really unsure how far

Johnny:out there you guys were going to go which is why I kind of made

Johnny:the whole thing agnostic I was like

Gamemaster:What else?

Johnny:whatever they have put in it's going to work

Johnny:you guys could have been air bud

Johnny:I think I said simply based on any Disney

Gamemaster:Could have been Yoda.

Benny:And 20th Century Fox.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:What else do they own?

Gamemaster:Is it all Disney IP?

Gamemaster:Because Disney does own, like, music publishing companies.

Argyle:Just Rihanna.

Gamemaster:Completely unrelated.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Johnny:slash Pixar character

Johnny:so

Gamemaster:Oh, character.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:so

Gamemaster:That's fair.

Gamemaster:Disney does own ABC and FX.

Johnny:you guys could have been Homer Simpson

Gamemaster:Oh What are

Benny:Why does Disney own 20th Century Fox I was thinking I mean there Alvin and the Chipmunks here Avatar Avatar is a

Argyle:Wait wait you know do you guys know that

Benny:20th Century film. Titanic.

Gamemaster:Yeah, I want to be the Titanic!

Argyle:do you guys know that disney doesn't technically own the hulk

Benny:I don't know.

Argyle:but they can use the hulk in movies with other superheroes that's why you can't do

Gamemaster:Yep.

Gamemaster:So long as it's not the star.

Argyle:yeah so one of us still could have been the Hulk

Benny:Alvin and the Chipmunks

Johnny:As long as it was distinctly not the star of the movie, it could be there.

Argyle:as long as there were two other people

Argyle:yeah

Benny:The Squeakquel

Benny:is one of the top

Benny:25 grossing movies

Benny:from

Benny:20th Century Fox

Benny:I'll invite you to keep in mind

Benny:Avatar and

Benny:Titanic are on here

Benny:they're the top 3

Argyle:Dreamworks.

Benny:Alvin and the Chipmunks has been in the top 25

Gamemaster:I can't remember.

Johnny:you could have been Theodore Roosevelt

Benny:Night at the Museum

Benny:I could have been the Easter Island head

Benny:that says you dum-dum you give me gum-gum

Benny:wait wait

Johnny:from Night at the Museum

Johnny:I think it's DreamWorks

Gamemaster:Is the Prince of Egypt Dreamworks or Disney?

Benny:wait

Gamemaster:Darn.

Benny:also

Gamemaster:It can't be Moses.

Benny:also a 20th century

Argyle:Well,

Argyle:um josh dreamworks did the that uh that other movie and when they were developing it

Johnny:laughing

Benny:Fox film is Bohemian Rhapsody

Gamemaster:Is he a character? Is he a Disney character?

Johnny:stage persona for the mercury shirt

Benny:so one of us could have been Freddie Mercury

Benny:I don't know

Benny:does it matter

Argyle:they would put devs that they didn't like on shrek and they'd call it getting shrek'd because

Gamemaster:Oh, right.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Well no because Shrek is Dreamworks So in order to get Shrek you need to be at Dreamworks

Argyle:everyone's like this movie's totally gonna bomb and then shrek did amazing

Johnny:wait

Johnny:I hear you

Argyle:yeah yeah

Johnny:Wait now that you saying that I think that Prince of Egypt might actually have been might actually be a Disney IP

Johnny:Oh.

Johnny:I'm sorry, I misheard.

Argyle:yeah so

Argyle:you'd get shrecked if you were like

Argyle:oh you gotta go work on that piece of shit

Argyle:yeah they really thought it was

Johnny:This is a crazy cast for Prince of Egypt.

Johnny:Val Kilmer.

Gamemaster:Prince of Egypt is wild.

Argyle:good

Johnny:Ralph Fiennes.

Johnny:Steve Martin.

Johnny:sandra who wow what is this cast

Gamemaster:It's...

Johnny:yeah i also grew up on that movie

Gamemaster:It's a great movie.

Gamemaster:Like, it's one of my favorite animated movies ever.

Gamemaster:It's wonderful.

Gamemaster:It's just surprising that they got so many famous people

Gamemaster:to be animated singing Moses & Co.

Gamemaster:Weird subject material for them to sign on to.

Gamemaster:But...

Gamemaster:Hmm.

Johnny:on netflix oh my gosh if we watch this

Johnny:a little late for Passover but

Benny:It's fun.

Gamemaster:Oh no, there's a...

Argyle:This was fun.

Johnny:you're right I'll watch a book

Gamemaster:It's early September.

Gamemaster:The High Holy Days are coming up.

Gamemaster:Watch it for that.

Gamemaster:It's close enough.

Johnny:yeah

Johnny:we don't have a movie for that one

Gamemaster:Yeah, Rosh Hashanah.

Gamemaster:Distract yourself during Yom Kippur

Gamemaster:with some animated Moses.

Gamemaster:Yeah, this was a good time.

Argyle:Did you like monk?

Argyle:Did you like being a monk?

Benny:I don't think I

Gamemaster:Flurry of blows, flurry of blows, flurry of blows.

Argyle:So we.

Benny:I mean maybe it's the way that it was built

Benny:there was just no variety in

Benny:not that like

Benny:okay so maneuvers versus striking

Benny:but as far as striking variety

Benny:it's just like

Benny:I think I built

Benny:no no no

Benny:because I had maneuvers too

Benny:so I didn't think it was that

Benny:but it was like when I did hit

Benny:it's like bludgeoning D8

Benny:rock fists

Benny:I picked the

Benny:what's it called

Benny:It's like the Stone Brawler Dedication?

Gamemaster:.

Argyle:I think...

Benny:Yeah, Stone Brawler Dedication.

Benny:dedication.

Gamemaster:I think we shouldn't do that

Argyle:I think we got to do a campaign with four necromancers.

Benny:Test the limits of foundry and Josh's patience.

Argyle:And they're just thralls.

Gamemaster:like

Gamemaster:I mean

Gamemaster:for what it's worth

Gamemaster:the answer there is that you start being

Gamemaster:a stickler for the rules

Gamemaster:in terms of like

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:where you can place them because you technically have to

Gamemaster:be able to see the tile that you're

Gamemaster:placing it in

Gamemaster:and all that kind of stuff

Gamemaster:Like, I think if you don't play as loosey-goosey, it's less fun.

Argyle:Yeah, or a persistent environment effect

Gamemaster:Also, you just chuck an enemy with an area attack, and that kind of negates most of a necromancer's thralls.

Argyle:like the arms, black tentacles

Argyle:that's a no-thrall zone

Gamemaster:Yeah, that's true.

Gamemaster:like there are a necro i actually think that these fights happened to be particularly well

Argyle:and then someone to

Johnny:Let us draw.

Gamemaster:suited to necromancer and then on top of that you had the commander giving all of them an extra

Gamemaster:attack around which is ridiculous um so what you should do is three necromancers and a commander

Gamemaster:right so a necromancer a commander a bard and then probably a tank that causes some kind of

Argyle:make vulnerabilities

Argyle:Josh thrall

Gamemaster:focus like a guardian would be a ridiculously difficult uh um uh party to deal with with the

Johnny:Roll.

Gamemaster:caveat of i don't think any of those i guess the bard is good at social encounters still

Gamemaster:Like, there are some skills that wouldn't be well covered by that particular class layout,

Gamemaster:but...

Gamemaster:Thrall, right.

Gamemaster:Who needs stealth or society knowledge when you have Thrall?

Johnny:Roll.

Benny:I can just imagine every time that Brian was given a free action attack

Argyle:Good job Noah

Johnny:Jeez Thank you That so nasty

Gamemaster:Yeah this was a good time

Benny:that would be fantastic for Benny

Benny:because then it's at full mod

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:yeah the the commander uh once around getting to just do one of his tactics and have it so that it

Benny:you just get one more at full mod

Benny:and then you still have your reaction for opportunity attacks

Benny:and then it's just like oh yeah

Benny:and then just go and try and crit again

Benny:during this turn cycle.

Argyle:Does that work with ranged attacks as well?

Johnny:For someone with reactive strike, that's wild.

Gamemaster:doesn't cost anything for an ally is crazy just to be like everybody has to spend reactions except

Gamemaster:you. Totally free for you. It costs literally nothing. Just do it. It's wild. Yeah.

Benny:

Gamemaster:That particular one, I know. Okay, so technically, yes. The way that it's worded is that you stride,

Argyle:Uh, they got go go.

Gamemaster:and then if at the end of the stride you are adjacent to an enemy, you may strike that enemy.

Gamemaster:So you can make a ranged strike, that's fine, but you'll be adjacent to them.

Gamemaster:So you have to be okay with it.

Gamemaster:If we were like...

Gamemaster:If we wanted to focus more on ranged things, I had other tactics that I just didn't use because they didn't fit our party comp because I didn't know what it would be going in.

Argyle:Well, if I do make a temporary character for the campaign,

Gamemaster:Because we could have done something like the slip and sizzle, which is one person trips an enemy and then somebody else gets to make a spell attack or a ranged attack with a bonus on the person that gets tripped.

Gamemaster:Like, there are other, I was just focusing on the ones that made sense with our melee mouse and the thralls.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:just to be a force multiplier on Benny Yeah Egan too

Argyle:maybe it won't be a necromancer.

Benny:Oh yeah oh yeah Benny getting more

Argyle:Maybe it be a commander for Erden and Benny Benny and the gunslinger

Johnny:you Egan I very excited to play Egan because he I have not played a melee character in

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:a while, and I'm hoping Egan is as nasty as I built it to be.

Gamemaster:Oh, boy.

Argyle:Well, this was fun.

Gamemaster:We're going to have to figure out what to do with Johnny.

Gamemaster:I cannot have you running both characters at the same time in every encounter.

Benny:Oh, we're totally killing Gelzu.

Johnny:We'll just have Johnny hang back while they go clear out, uh, while they go kill Galzu,

Gamemaster:Right, of course.

Johnny:don't tell Tanner.

Gamemaster:yeah i mean part of part of the issue too is that the the original thing once once egan was made to

Johnny:And then when we come back, I'll speak back over to Johnny.

Johnny:I thought that Egan was going to be a temporary character when they left the Strider, and

Johnny:now we are stuck on the Strider for life.

Argyle:we don't know the singers by the way

Gamemaster:be like part of the singers and on the thing like the question was how do we get egan who is part of

Gamemaster:the singers somehow

Gamemaster:working with... What?

Argyle:I think only

Argyle:no one knows what the singers are

Argyle:okay

Gamemaster:No, you know

Gamemaster:what the singers are. They've come up

Argyle:okay

Argyle:oh yes

Gamemaster:a bunch of times. Galzu's one of them.

Gamemaster:Singers of the Herald Star.

Argyle:okay yes

Argyle:yeah

Gamemaster:Like, this

Gamemaster:was stuff that came up in last session.

Argyle:okay yeah

Gamemaster:I'm not telling secrets.

Johnny:Now we got Egan.

Gamemaster:It was just more of the, like, as

Gamemaster:he said, when the Strider was moving, it

Gamemaster:kind of got him out of it.

Gamemaster:But then a lot of things happened,

Gamemaster:including you guys...

Gamemaster:breaking the strider, and so it's no longer moving.

Gamemaster:And so I'm like, how does it make sense if we don't get Egan in there now,

Gamemaster:or else he's just immediately back under the song,

Gamemaster:and it's like, what do we do about that?

Johnny:and now we can switch it out

Johnny:and we're like we're going hunting

Johnny:or for like bigger boss fights and big story beats I probably still go with Johnny

Gamemaster:So For what it worth I am not against you guys doing west marches is the wrong term but in

Gamemaster:general i'm not against you guys having more than the four party members in iconoclasm so long as

Gamemaster:you're not piloting two at the same time like i don't think it's ridiculous to have like eight

Gamemaster:members of Iconoclasm here, or, like, people you've picked up and forcibly befriended and all of that

Argyle:Holder's Gates Rules.

Gamemaster:kind of stuff, um, and just have them part of the group and swap them out as you like. I don't think

Gamemaster:that's ridiculous, um, so long as, you know, it's not both Johnny and Egan and then also Benny and

Gamemaster:Benny too, and also, like, you know, it's, it's, it's still going to be stuck at four on, on things

Gamemaster:that you're doing, and we'll have to figure out story-wise how that makes sense. Yeah, Baldur's

Gamemaster:gates rules like you have a bunch of people in your party that stay at camp and then some people

Johnny:Everyone make a second character right now.

Gamemaster:can go out to do stuff but i i don't think that's crazy if like listen if you guys say hey we would

Johnny:Jorge, make a third character.

Johnny:Okay.

Gamemaster:love it if we could all have a second character to explore other stuff the answer i have is yeah

Gamemaster:that's fine go for it uh mostly because i trust you guys not to like i don't even know how you

Gamemaster:would metagame that in such a way that doesn't make a more broken party than we already have

Gamemaster:with Benny and a little bit with Egan and a little bit with Anzu like uh you know

Benny:Danny.

Argyle:Hey you didn't mention

Gamemaster:Argyle's not Argyle's not a big damage dealer that's like not you know I know I understand

Argyle:You didn't mention Argyle

Argyle:He keeps everyone alive

Argyle:Yeah but he keeps everyone alive

Argyle:He's not broken

Argyle:Okay

Argyle:Oh yeah

Gamemaster:but I'm I'm thinking specifically about the fact that Benny can hit like 40 damage points on

Argyle:Yeah

Gamemaster:average higher than his level should be able to.

Gamemaster:Like, Argyle isn't hitting things in a way that would cause that.

Benny:Listen, best...

Argyle:mhm

Gamemaster:He's just stopping everybody else from dying in the middle.

Benny:Benny has, the last two levels, he has picked slightly more variety.

Gamemaster:If I recall, I think you said,

Benny:Actually, quite a bit more variety.

Gamemaster:oh gosh, I gotta retrain Benny into taking the full damage things

Gamemaster:after one or another of the bad things the past few sessions have happened.

Benny:Yeah.

Benny:Not yet.

Benny:Well, so for those wondering, Benny took the Acrobat dedication,

Gamemaster:So...

Benny:which just weirdly gives you

Johnny:What?

Benny:legendary and acrobatics

Benny:for free

Benny:when you hit level 15

Benny:and then some fun

Benny:combat maneuver things

Benny:but I could have taken other archetype

Benny:things that were like

Benny:here's a d4 and

Benny:their arms fall off when you look at them

Benny:or whatever the fucking other shit is

Benny:also it allows me to get

Benny:legendary in performance

Benny:for a single skill feat at...

Gamemaster:Is it just the acrobat archetype?

Johnny:What is this, the Let you get legendary in performance?

Benny:What level is it?

Johnny:That's crazy.

Benny:No, Acrobat Archetype allows you to get...

Benny:Oh, it's level 12.

Benny:Operatic Adventurer.

Benny:You become Master in Performance.

Benny:So Benny goes from zero performance to Master at level 12.

Benny:And then at level 15, he becomes Legendary.

Benny:So for a single archetype feat and then another...

Gamemaster:This is something that Johnny could have had as well right Because it also comes from Dandy Johnny was a Dandy for a little bit right If Johnny still a Dandy at level 12 he could take Operatic Adventurer

Argyle:I have to go walk Leo.

Johnny:I think Johnny is still a dandy

Benny:Yes.

Argyle:Love you guys.

Argyle:I'll hop it up.

Benny:Let see it yeah yeah

Johnny:Okay.

Benny:the reason it's efficient for Benny

Gamemaster:Oh, wait, this is...

Benny:is because he doesn't need performance mastery

Benny:at all ever so

Benny:he can just take it at 12

Benny:without having to bump anything

Benny:But yeah, for two feats, you get legendary and two skills.

Johnny:Crazy.

Gamemaster:Sorry, what is the thing that gives you the thing in acrobatics?

Gamemaster:Because this is performance.

Benny:The acrobat dedication itself.

Gamemaster:Oh, the acrobat dedication itself.

Benny:Yeah.

Benny:yeah the scaling things are absolutely

Gamemaster:Yeah, at level 15 you become legendary in acrobatics.

Gamemaster:That's wild.

Johnny:I mean, Johnny has Fan Dancer too, which auto scales.

Johnny:So it's redundant.

Johnny:That's crazy.

Benny:fucking bananas

Benny:it's kind of obscene

Johnny:Yeah.

Johnny:Like right now, Johnny is a master in deception, diplomacy, and performance.

Johnny:I think by level 20, he'll be legendary in all the face skills.

Johnny:Crazy.

Benny:Benny will be legendary in athletics

Benny:acrobatics and I think one more

Gamemaster:See ya.

Benny:I don't know what I picked

Benny:maybe I'm I was looking at stealth

Johnny:Could be performance.

Benny:maybe what

Benny:oh no he will be

Johnny:Could be performance.

Benny:oh yeah I guess

Johnny:Could be a two-man show.

Benny:or performance acrobatics,

Benny:athletics, and then

Johnny:Okay, I'm gonna hop off.

Benny:stealth maybe? I don't know.

Johnny:I'll see you guys on Monday.

Benny:Yeah.

Benny:Peace.